Friday, August 12, 2011

this amused me (NSFW?)



While I'm feeling extra ornery and opionated, let's talk about movies. I don't go to the movies much. Basically, unless the word "Star" appears at the beginning of the title I'm happy to wait for cable. Maybe you haven't noticed, but 99% of all films released are crappy in one or more ways. Even ones of the Star [blank] variety. The new Conan movie will probably be crap, too. And I'll probably hate the 3D technology. But judging by the trailer this flick certainly seems to be firing on all cylinders in the sex and violence departments, which is a hell of a lot more important to me than whether Howard was properly aped. But I still think the first Conan movie was one of the greatest films ever made, so what do I know?

(Remixed trailer found via comicsalliance.com, which is a pretty good general clearing house for all sorts of nerd genre stuff.)

24 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:23 AM

    YOU JUSTGOT SERVED A FASE-STAB!!!! I WILL
    GO WATCH THE FIRST SHOWED OF THE FILM MOVIE AND THEY WILL HALF TO DRAG MY FEET OUT TO MAKE ME LEAVE.!

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  2. Is it just me, or is Conan not wearing any pants? ;)

    And be sure to pause and read the MPAA rating statement at the beginning.

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  3. I can't say it any better than Joesky. No one can.

    Heads Will Roll...

    IN YER FUCKING POPCORN!

    LOVE. THIS.

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  4. I think it's gonna be fun! :)

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  5. Oh man - my sides hurt from laughing.

    YES! I WANT HEADS IN MY POPCORN.

    - Ark

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  6. Fuckin' A!

    I don't like popcorn. Can I have heads in my M&M's, please?

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  7. Good, except for the soundtrack. I hate to be that buy, but metal ain't what it used to be.

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  8. No preview for that movie has made me want to see it until that one.

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  9. But I still think the first Conan movie was one of the greatest films ever made, so what do I know?

    Then you know about the same as me. I love that film, and I don't care if James Maliszewski never speaks to me again.

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  10. Trollsmyth said: "And be sure to pause and read the MPAA rating statement at the beginning."

    I hate to be "that guy," but I am going to have to take exception to useage of the term "Brutal Metal" in the MPAA statement...

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  11. Whoever made the trailer needs to get hired immediately. It completely changed my opinion of the new Conan movie from "nah" to "well this could be kind of popcorn fun".

    Except for him doing the 3/4 pubu which is fucking retarded. Kung fu is awesome, but it doesn't need to be in every movie, Hollywood.

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  12. Allright! Check out the dungeon entrance skull at 1:20! Yeah, its cliched, but that's awesome!

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  13. Ha! I just linked this over at Knigts & Knaves, and what di I find? JR is a hop, skip and a jump ahead of me! :D

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  14. Why can't 3D die already?! Fucking hate it!

    Also, I really hope the soundtrack is more like the 80's film and is not heavy metal. I don't want another "Kull the Conqueror".

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  15. Of course, he isn't the first superhero. That would be

    JOHN
    FREAKING
    CARTER

    ;-)

    [/nerdout]

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  16. Is that an "official" trailer, or fan-made?

    And re:John Carter.
    a)Gulliver of Mars, anyone?
    b)For obvious (Iron Lords of Jupiter, D20 Mars, SW Mars, GURPS:Tales Of The Solar Patrol), I'm looking forward to the John Carter movie, but the trailer makes it look like an 'Avatar' ripoff, which is so ironic on so many levels my head explodes like Gleichman watching a "Tudors" marathon on Showtime.

    And also: There's a longish (2-3 minute) segment of the film showing L'il Conan butchering a bunch of raiders or bandits or something. It's pretty darn cool.

    And also also: I want to see what Khal Drogo can do if he's allowed more than three lines of dialog.

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  17. Is that an "official" trailer, or fan-made?

    It was made by a viral marketing firm, according to comments at my source. So I guess they earned their pay.

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  18. Yeah, that's the way you make a movie trailer.

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  19. Apart from the 3D which is ovberused and lame, it looks good!

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  20. Bonus: The metal song in the trailer is by Dethklok and is called "I Tamper With The Evidence at The Murder Site of Odin"

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  21. Nerdy criticisms aside, if that was the trailer they showed in the theater there's no way in crom's blood soaked earth you'd keep me out of the theater.


    The wife said...If I was a man I'd so be watching that movie, that's was a man's trailer, any man would be waiting in line to see it after that.

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  22. Jeff you must see Cowboys and Alien. It delivers exactly what it promises in the title and in a pretty satisfying manner.

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  23. Ditto on Cowboys & Aliens. Great gamer movie .. you can hear the dice roll! Harrison Ford looks like he's having more fun than he's had in decades. I recommend a "blu-ray & friends" party... it's been doing poorly at the box office (sigh...), so the blu ray/DVD will likely be out early.

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