Saturday, April 22, 2023

this actual play is nuts

I don't really watch actual play videos all that much, as I don't consider D&D to be a spectator sport. (Though I quite like Dungeon Majesty, if anyone remembers that silliness.) But this was one that my wife, who is a normal well-adjusted non-gamer type person, was interested in watching. We've been fans of Rhett and Link and their show Good Mythical Morning since 2020. The extra wrinkle to this actual play is the so-called "exorcist", who steals the show. He is one of those interesting people who seemingly can't distinguish fantasy from reality and sees demons as the explanation for nearly any phenomena. Also hilarious is how Link unironically makes his own daddy issues into his character's whole deal. Big thumbs up to him for sneak attacking the demon in the balls, though. That's A+ dungeoning and dragoning in my book.

After the Dungeon Master's first line my wife said, "Yeah, that's a Dungeon Master all right." I am having trouble thinking of another dungeon master she has heard run a game. You know, besides me. Make of that what you will.

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

a typical spellbook from the Dillhonker City campaign

Title(s): Grimoire of Par Kaar, The Blue Book of Waaz

Language(s): Demonic, with some marginalia in Smadj

Period: The chaotic days of the Wizards of Old.

Author: The obscure wizard Par Kaar, with some additions by an unnamed apprentice of his and margin notes by a later hand but in the ancient hieroglyphs of a nearly-forgotten language.

Blasphemy: The world is a bit like a planetary turducken, with a second, smaller world inside it, and a third, even smaller world insider that one.


  • Magic Aura (reversible) (standard LotFP version)
  • Slivers of Stone (Invocation/Evocation) (Great Net Spellbook, sixth edition)

Range: 30 yards + 10 yards per level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None
Author: Peter Gourlay <>
This spell creates a stream of sharp stone shards that unerringly hit their target. The stones inflict 1d4 + 1 points of damage. For every three levels gained, the wizard inflicts another 1d4 + 1 points of damage. This spell is the earth elementalist version of the magic missile spell, and protections against that spell are also useful against Slivers of Stone. Slivers of stone has the same limitations as magic missile. The material component of this spell is a handful of stones, which must be thrown at the target. 

  • Par-Kher’s Pain Blast  (Arduin Grimoire III)

Level: 4th Area Effected: 30' diameter. Number Effected : All within 30' diameter. Effects: Blast of sheer pain. All within go insane with pain for the number of turns less than 20th level they are. Range: 120 feet. Save negates.

  • Animate Dead (standard LotFP version)  

Note 1: The spell name and the title of the book have different spellings of the relevant wizard's name. Par Kaar/Par-Kher is inconsistent in his spelling practices in general.

Note 2: There may have been more spells in this spellbook at one time, but the last 33 pages have been scribbled over by either a mad man or a really determined toddler. Nothing can be gleamed of the secrets written on these defaced leaves.

Monday, April 17, 2023

There's an Ian Fleming quote

"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."

Well, this is at least the fourth win for Zak. I wonder what Ian Fleming would say about that?

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Jordan rules

So my Lamentations of the Flame Princess adventure Broodmother Skyfortress has this dead god in it called the Sky King. It is possible to bring this entity back to life. The consequences of doing this are less than ideal for the party. Here's a brief report of that happening, from the LotFP discord.


Forest: One of my younger players changed his name after the group lost three PCs to the Sky King.

Image from another discord shows user name Jordan (Fuck You Jeff Rients).

2 laughing so hard I'm crying emojis.

That Dark Sky: In the nice way?

Forest: Just salty lol

Spider Minstrel: What, only three?]

This is the first actual play report I have seen of the Sky King being awakened, so bravo to Jordan and his group.

Saturday, April 15, 2023

a step closer to my grand vision

I am a bad drawer. Or, at least, I haven't devoted any time to the prospect of getting better at it. One idea I have had knocking around my head for a long time is "What if a dungeon was laid out like a multi-level shopping mall, in all its 3-d splendor?" My lack of drawing skills has made this hard to realize in a visual form, so today I asked to do up this idea. The results were... not terrible.


Friday, April 14, 2023

you are the grimoire


I found this meme on the tumblrs. If you find yourself the DM in this situation, I strongly recommend not taking the time to look up the spell description. Instead, just make some shit up. Change the spell effect every time it is cast until the player looks it up themselves.

Thursday, April 13, 2023

found during a google image search

click to embiggen


Tuesday, April 04, 2023

the hobgoblin's map

 The X is where the party encountered the hobgoblins, killing 5, routing 3, and capturing the hobgobbo sergeant. The arrow indicates stairs up to level 1. The corridor labeled "monsters" indicates where the hobgobbo enemies reside, including some undead, some sort of black cats, wererats, and an unknown invisible killer.

The party made a nonagression pact with the hobgoblin commander ("boss") and agreed to avoid the hobgoblin/orc areas of the level.