Wednesday, April 07, 2021

Also, his royal guard were all paladins but that doesn't seem relevant to the rest of the post.

The Leprechaun King carousing with a human friend.

I had a dream the other night that there was a Leprechaun King named Zap! Yes, his name had an exclamation mark at the end. Consider the notion that all leprechauns are named liked that. And by "like that", I mean after the visual sound effects of the 1966 Batman TV show. So here are all the canonical names for leprechauns under this scheme:

Random Leprechaun Name (d87)

from Space Gamer #74, IIRC

  1. Aieee!
  2. Aiieee!
  3. Arrrgh!
  4. Awk!
  5. Awkkkkkk!
  6. Bam!
  7. Bang!
  8. Bang-Eth!
  9. Bap!
  10. Biff!
  11. Bloop!
  12. Blurp!
  13. Boff!
  14. Bonk!
  15. Clank!
  16. Clange!
  17. Clank-Est!
  18. Clash!
  19. Clunk!
  20. Clunk-Eth!
  21. Craaack!
  22. Crash!
  23. Crraaack!
  24. Crunch!
  25. Crunch-Eth!
  26. Eee-Yow!
  27. Flrbbbbb!
  28. Glipp!
  29. Glurpp!
  30. Kapow!
  31. Kayo!
  32. Ker-Plop!
  33. Ker-Sploosh!
  34. Klonk!
  35. Krunch!
  36. Oooff!
  37. Ooooff!
  38. Ouch!
  39. Ouch-Eth!
  40. Owww!
  41. Ow-Eth!
  42. Pam!
  43. Plop!
  44. Pow!
  45. Powie!
  46. Qunckkk!
  47. Rakkk!
  48. Rip!
  49. Slosh!
  50. Sock!
  51. Splaat!
  52. Splatt!
  53. Sploosh!
  54. Swaap!
  55. Swish!
  56. Swoosh!
  57. Thunk!
  58. Thwack!
  59. Thwackel!
  60. Thwape!
  61. Thwapp!
  62. Touché!
  63. Uggh!
  64. Urkk!
  65. Urkkk!
  66. Vronk!
  67. Whack!
  68. Whack-Eth!
  69. Wham-Eth!
  70. Whamm!
  71. Whammm!
  72. Whap!
  73. Zam!
  74. Zamm!
  75. Zammm!
  76. Zap!
  77. Zap-Eth!
  78. Zgruppp!
  79. Zlonk!
  80. Zlopp!
  81. Zlott!
  82. Zok!
  83. Zowie!
  84. Zwapp!
  85. Z-zwap!
  86. Z-z-z-z-wap!
  87. Zzzzzwap!      (source)

Only native speakers of the Leprechaun tongue can clearly differentiate the subtleties of correctly pronouncing things like "Zam!" versus "Zamm!" versus "Zammm!" Turns out Leprechaunese is rife with such pitfalls, owing to its status as a language isolate, with no known relation to the linguistic family that includes the Common Tongue. Leprechauns who regularly interact with humans, dwarves, elves, and hobbits constantly deal with people mangling their names. Many simply bear the humiliation in silence, but occasionally you'll find yourself in an argument with one of the wee folk and you just don't understand why they're yelling "My name's not Splaat!, you gigantic simpleton! It's Splatt!"

Some leprechaun communities are so driven to distraction by the mispronouncing of their name that they develop intricate systems for identifying a pseudonym, a "humanish name" they only use with outsiders. Here's a typical example of this sort of thing:

Leprechauns don't really get human names.

But what about the exclamation point at the end of leprechaunish names? In my dream I didn't hear the Leprechaun King's name said aloud. Rather "Realm of Zap! the Leprechaun King" was written on a map next to a set of islands that looked a little like the Misty Isles or maybe Vog Mur. It could be an aveolar click, but ending every name with the same sound seems like a dull addition to this system. I think it would be better if  the exclamation mark at the end of every leprechaunish name is not pronounced. Rather, it is a textual indicator that the word is a personal name. This allows one to easily distinguish in written communication whether you are talking about your cousin Vronk! or his hometown of Vronk@.

According to an ancient legend, every time the Caped
Crusader punches a criminal a leprechaun is born.
This is why most leprechaun communities
feature a shrine to Blessed Saint Batman.


  1. "What's your name?" "Aahz" "Oz?" "No relation."

  2. Restless McWiggles approves of this post.

    On the rare occasions that leprechauns have featured in my own campaigns, every one of them was named after a type of footwear (sometimes anachronistic, sometimes not) and used "Shoemaker" as a surname if pressed for one. IIRC the list included Cowmouth, Rullian, Buskin, Pinson, Krakow, Adidas, Keds, and Moonboots (who was very definitely Not From Around Here and featured in a Spelljammer campaign).

  3. This is the content that keeps me coming back here.

  4. If you didn't know, that pic is from the movie Darby O'Gill And The Little People starring a young Sean Connery. I need to show that one to my girls soon. It's good!