Friday, September 25, 2009

missing: random chart

Recently (within the last week or so) someone in the gaming blogosphere published a chart to determine why the wandering monster was wandering the dungeon. I thought I bookmarked it but now I can't find the darn thing. Can anybody help? EDIT: Thanks, mtarbit!

While we're on the subject of cool random charts, I'm really digging JDJarvis's Clerical Spell Acquisition and Hungry Dead Reaction charts. Seen any other neat-o ones lately?


  1. It was on hack/:

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Well, I'm pretty proud of my Wandering Harlot Table for Mutant Future.


  4. That's an awesome chart, thanks for bringing it to my attention, Jeff (and mtarbit for tracking it down!)

    @Adam - That rocks on toast also. It would probably go well with my Random House of Ill Repute tables as a "lair" for the harlots.

  5. @Adam-That chart dances the razor's edge between disgusting and flat out hilarious. Kudos.

    Not too long ago I made a post on my blog on why I don't really use random charts, even though I like them a lot and think they're fun.

    Check it out.

  6. Mr Thornton, my mind will never be clean again and it's all your fault. What did the Mutant Future do to poor Herbie?!

  7. @Chris -- what didn't it do to him? I honestly hadn't realized that it was Herbie. But of course it's the Love Bug. Man, my subconscious is one sick fuck. I hope I never meet that guy in a dark alley.

    I guess I need to make it a 1963 VW bug now. Although maybe that pushes it into the "Male Android" category rather than "Neuter."

    See what you've made me do?

  8. The Random Chart I Seem To Have Misplaced Chart (1d10)

    1 - Secret Priest Fetishes
    2 - PC Blood Miscibility
    3 - Other Patrons Browsing Next to the PCs At the General Store Table
    4 - Ooze Hit Locations
    5 - Failed Pickpocket Consolation Prizes (Subtable H - Victim is a Greater Demon)
    6 - Potion Spoilage Effects (the infamous "They're Not Twinkies, People" table)
    7 - What The Dwarf's Beard Smells Like Today Table (skip if last encounter was in brothel)
    8 - Random Condition to Release Ghost From Haunting This Room Table
    9 - The What's F*cked Up About The Next Village Table
    10 - Roll once on subtable N and once on subtable R, combining the results.

  9. Anonymous12:05 PM

    John, I hope you realize that now you have to write up all of those right?
    In all seriousness, I would use about half of those and get a kick out of the rest.

  10. History's best chart is, in my opinion, the d1000 random mutation table from Warhammer Realms of Chaos, Slaves To Darkness.

    And, check it out--someone's put a version of it on-line...

  11. Anonymous6:30 PM

    A Slippery Elm (5d4 GP), a Mid-Op Obese Transexual (not hot) (1d8 GP), and a Televangelist (4d8 GP) walk into a bar ...


    @Barking Alien:

    Table 14: Enjoyment and Use of Random Charts
    Roll 2d6.
    2-3: You do not like random charts and do not use them
    4-9: You like random charts but do not use them.
    10-11: You do not like random charts and refuse to use them.
    12: Roll thrice on subtable 14B, ignoring results of less than 3.

  12. Anonymous6:32 PM

    Aaand I screwed that one up in a subtle way. See if you can spot my public misery!

    (There are no prizes for spotting my public misery)

  13. Dang. For the longest time I've thought you created this table, Jeff, and was frustrated my Google searches weren't turning it up. Turns out you just pointed me to it long ago... And now it's gone. Anybody know where a copy can be scrounged up?

  14. Don't know about a copy of the table, but it looks like the owner of has moved to:

    He's also on Twitter as @1d8, might be able to chase up a copy of the original post if you get in touch.