Thursday, July 07, 2011

let me get my 10' pole

Earlier Jamie Mal posted a publicity still from the upcoming film version of The Hobbit.  These guys definitely look like the kind of sons of bitches I'd want on my team for a little lair looting.

At one point I had statted up for my Bandit Kingdoms campaign an NPC party formed of one Randolph the Red, a human wizard, a surly halfling called Mr. Daggins (don't ask him his first name unless you want a fight) and a dozen dwarves.  Each dwarf had a different class, drawing on all the material available to me at the time.  Beyond the normal Fighter, Fighter/Thief, Fighter/Cleric etc. the group included Dragon magazine classes, things like a Death Master, a Smith, a Thief-Acrobat and some 3rd party nonsense as well, like maybe an Arduin barbarian or something.  They were all classes that dwarves could legally take, assuming you allowed that class in your campaign.

They were going to be part of the Search for the Crown Jewels adventure, with said crown jewels being part of the dragon's hoard that Randolph and company were trying to claim.  I was hoping to draw the players into a World of Greyhawk version of the Battle of Five Armies, with the players on the side of the goblins.  (The nicest guy in the party was Chaotic Neutral.)  But the players rejected the story line so we did something else entirely.


  1. "Daggins"

    See, that's why you're classy.

  2. "Daggins"

    That would be more of a 3' pole. :)

  3. I just got it!

  4. Burning down two cities and raising an army of the dead counts as nice for this exercise.

  5. If there'd been an 'I like' button, I'd press it.

    Didn't get the joke, though.

  6. Harald, let me put it this way. I teach Korean kids English, and they often miswrite the letters b and d. I keep joking with my fellow teachers that one of these days I'm going to give one of the students the English name Bilbo for the laughs we'll get.

    Back on topic, that poster looks badass, but why are they armed? Is that a scene from the end, after Smaug dies, or will Peter Jackson be turning this into an action movie? Curious.

  7. Picturing a Dwarven Thief-Acrobat in action makes me laugh. He's like Aeon Flux... only shorter, and with a beard.

    Word Verification: expet

    Is blogger trying to tell me that I'm not as experienced as I think I am?
    "I is smarts. I's an expet."

  8. Is it too much to ask that one is carrying a mattock.

    I like the look of the mace.

  9. The heads are too small, they look too human or like bearded halflings.

    A dwarf should have a huge head like Jeff Rients or a normal head with a proportionally tiny body like zak.

  10. Daggins, eh? I've heard of his nephew, Mojo Frojo (Not to be confused with Mojo Jojo, the archenemy of The Powerpuff Girls).

    Throw in an orange-tanned, dwarf bard named Oompla and your party is complete.

    Nice pic. Looking forward to PJ's film.

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  12. The title of this post initially made me think "That's what he said!"

    Then I went on a mental wandering in which I imagined that being just one of the great lines in a D&D porno. Someone call Zak and get him working on that one...

  13. It's a great pic and I love what you've done with the text. Bravo sir!