Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Unlockables: WTF?

Prior to getting this X-box thingy, my last serious go at video games was in college. Particularly with Doom, which I discovered just before finals one semester. That proved disastrous. As near as I can recall, there was one or two secret goodies in Doom, a gun called the BFG 3000 (kinda a full auto laser rocket launcher) and a godmode cheat. Prior to Doom most of my video gaming had been on the Atari 2600, the NES, and the C-64. I don't remember much in the way of unlockables in those games, unless you count accessing the next level of the board. Somewhere between Doom and the present unlockable features have gotten completely out of control. Here's my beef: I paid for the whole game, not just the portions that some numbnuts decided I should be able to see. Apparently someone thinks I need to earn the priviledge of accessing some parts of the game. Well guess what? I already earned that priviledge, with my money.

Now I understand that the sweet spot in any good game lies somewhere between 'godmode' and 'impossible to beat' but I think too much stuff is being locked up in some games these days. Case in point: Legends of Wrestling II. Despite the opinions to the contrary I am finding this to be a fun game to play. But all the stuff that starts locked is making me nucking futz. I have to unlock several of the venues? Why should I even care that much about which squared circle I have to go to in order to pound the snot out of Jimmy Snuka? But what really gets me is the number of characters that have to be unlocked. Sure they give you Hogan and Andre and Piper right out of the box. Making you unlock the Hulkster would probably set off riots. But dammit, I want to play Andy Kaufman and I want to play him right now!! His picture on the back of the box is what sold me this game, you stupid bastards! I could understand if you made him a super secret bonus character and I didn't know that he was on the disc until after I unlocked him. But this is just meanspirited teasing.

1 comment:

  1. This is why you need a retard around the house.
    When we got Soulcaliber, you got points for completing
    modes, levels, etc., so we just let a roomate hit
    lizardmen into lava for two days. In exchange, he got
    to yell "I'm Helping," and we earned a full game.

    try http://www.gamefaqs.com/, to wit:
    Andy Kaufman (Defeat with Jerry Lawler in "The Comic Wrestler" storyline)

    Unlock Cheating Mode
    Choose career mode with any legend. During career mode, enter one of each of the match types. After that, exit right away. After all match types have been entered, a message stating that the cheats can now be purchased in the shop will now appear.

    Welcome to the steaming corpse of modern