Saturday, July 08, 2023

lotsa different humanoids

If you are going to use all the standard D&D races, you need a quick handle on how each of them behave. If you can't makes these sorts of distinctions, they become blurred into different hit dice versions of Generic Foe. Here are my usual elevator-pitches for them:

Kobolds - like the Gremlins in the movies

Goblins - everything you hate about middle class existence

Orcs - blue collar working stiffs, part Homer Simpson, part Archie Bunker

Hobgoblins - the goddamn Nazis

Gnolls - evil frat boys variously chilling on spring break or rioting after their team wins the championship

Bugbears - sadistic cannibalistic Bigfoot

Ogres - Sweetums from the Muppet Show

6 comments:

  1. These are pretty great! When I ran my B/X megadungeon, kobolds were like gnomes (garden gnomes, natch) who had been drained of all their life essence by that machine in the Dark Crystal, all withered and gnarled. Goblins were goofy/sadistic like the goblins from Labyrinth. Hobgoblins were effete mockeries of human aristocrats, wearing Harlequin costumes and making fey gestures like the Chief Clown in Doctor Who's Greatest Show in the Galaxy. Orcs were just your standard dumb 'roid ragers. Bugbears were Sweetums from the Muppet Show (but lankier)! Ogres were atavistic degenerate cannibals eager to plop humans into their cookpots. No gnolls in my dungeon, though!

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  2. This is useful.
    I do a similar thing with specific characters/groups, I remember one that was exactly like local foreign-government-sponsored rightwingers. The players enjoyed dealing with them.

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  3. Anonymous7:35 PM

    Still friends with the chronic abuser/gaslighter?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, chronic abuser/gaslighter with no life who tries to find some meaning in life by posting anonymous lies on the internet, you still have no friends.

      Delete
    2. use a persistent online identity or be labeled a lying troll.
      Also - provide proof to back your assertions.

      Delete
  4. Mine are:

    Kobolds: They act like the biggest, most vicious raccoons. Often seen falling ass-over-teakettle out of a dumpster with half a fish. They want to survive and pad out their grand trash palaces. Play Donut County or watch a playthrough for some characterization.
    Goblins: Bowie Labyrinth style, mischief plus bites. Northumbrian Tin Soldier has an appropriate line of figures. They want to cause trouble and steal babies and sandwiches.
    Orcs: Soccer hooligans. Basically the aesthetic from Warhammer without the excruciating beefiness; after all, they're each only a little tougher than a typical human soldier. My orcs look like the two green guards in Jabba's Palace.
    Hobgoblins: Evil version of the samurai/daimyo aesthetic, love to lord it over anyone else and maintain a warrior elite culture instead of doing the farming themselves. Their art is harsh and inscrutable, but voluminous.
    Gnolls: I like the matriarchal hyena-pack deal. I enjoyed a webcomic called Digger which eventually gets around to involving a tribe of (basically gnolls). And I like the look of 3e's gnolls' body shapes rather than the bland 1e imagery; DDO: Stormreach sells it.
    Bugbears: Hairy clogs that grow huge and sentient before being ejected from a sewer, they are not only silent to all but also invisible to anyone whose hair makes up part of their bodies. They migrate outward into the wilderness and get adopted by smaller humanoids. Unnoticed treasure may be found stuck in them.

    I have way too much about Trolls and at this point I need to stop using them and work elsewhere, but then again they're so interesting because I have so much done on them!

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