Last night's D&D game was out of control. There was a two-headed non-purple worm, a visit to the Fairy Land Annex, tense negotiations with the vampires, a giant silver spider, intense combat with the same vampires and elvish trickery. I don't even know how to put the whole thing into a coherent narrative today, so I'll just tell you my favorite part.
I critted Fred the Dwarf twice. The first time was an old Arduin favorite: buttock torn off. The second one was a spinal injury that sends you to a subtable, the follow up roll said he was paralyzed from the waist up. Since death was specifically mentioned on another entry of the chart, I ruled that his autonomous functions were not paralyzed. So his henchmen drug him off, his head and arms flopping useless about. Also, that second crit was from a freakin' vampire. Dude lost his spine and two levels! They were able to repair his spine through a little miraculous intervention, but dude remains Fred Half-Butt.
And they almost killed the Vampire Lord of Crows. Almost.
Monster Manual Unwrapped
1 hour ago