Salvatore the Cleric rolled on my random henchmen table before this morning's expedition. He got the result of "d6 mercs". Further rolls indicated 5 "desperate locals", which I decided were men who lost their families to the Dragon. Nearly mad with grief, they signed on in hopes of causing the Dragon some annoyance before they died. Here are their fates, in chronological order.
1) Blasted to a blackened skeleton. Should have thrown the torch instead of walking up to the volatile chemical and igniting it by hand.
2) Left to guard a corridor. Shredded by giant rats.
3) Drowned when the halfling opened a secret door holding back 12,000 cubic feet of water
4) Traded (along with a magic ring) to a wicked silver spider with a body the size of a VW beetle. What did the party get in exchange? Their own miserable lives.
5) The last one fled when the silver spider attacked, so he didn't see the party callously sacrifice his buddy. He survived.
Mince Pie Fest 2024: Sainsbury's Taste the Difference
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IT BEGINS. The cyclopean ceramite bunker doors of the Top Secret Mince Pie
Testing Centre™ creak open once more. Children weep, but not as much as my
waist...
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Posts
Now, if someone doesn't make this into an unofficial sequel to the classic Jim Carroll song, I'll just have to try...
ReplyDeleteBest 200gp I ever spent.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, we could have saved at least one of them... but their lives were worth the adventure we had.
Oh, I do hope the fourth Cornishman returns as a villain with class levels and said magic ring in a future adventure.
ReplyDeleteNot likely. He was neatly sliced into quarters by a swift flick of the spider's scythe-like forelimbs.
DeleteThat just means vengeful undead henchman, perhaps a ghost that moans outside the tavern "the heroes" inhabit, he comes back every night to disrupt their rest and guarantees they will not find living quarters even in hobo encampment.
DeleteIs the secret-door-holding-back water trick really as horribly screw-you as it sounds?
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't so bad. We all got a save and Jeff rolled for damage (no instant death or anything), and as he said we were down pretty deep. And we didn't really have a checking at doors routine. For my part, it didn't feel unfair and when all the Real People survived, it was pretty awesome/scary knowing how far down we were with all our torches soaked!!
DeleteYes. No. Maybe? No listening. No search for traps. Down deep about as low as you can go without shaking the Devil's hand.
ReplyDeleteWould listening at the secret door have revealed anything? If it was a water-filled chamber, I don't think there would be anything to hear to give away it would be dangerous to open it.
ReplyDeleteA clue like: "The secret door is very damp with moisture" might have. But I think nobody expects secret doors to be trapped or holding back something like that.
> But I think nobody expects secret doors to be trapped or holding back something like that.
DeleteI always expect that. Players in my old-school games mostly expect something like that.
I would never be able to place a trap like that. Two engineers and a physics teacher play with me and they'd calculate the shearing force that water put on the door latch and so on. The nice thing though is that they'd also calculate the force of the water rushing out, how long it takes to gush out the door, etc. etc...
ReplyDeleteThat was the second magical ruby ring in a row I misspent... very cool! :)
ReplyDelete@Mike Monaco--
ReplyDeleteIt's a dungeon... normal physics don't really apply. ;)
If I was a henchman, I would so join a union.
ReplyDeleteFred and Company treat their henchmen so much better than this. I need to remind Jeff of that fact and perhaps some nice reward will one day come our way.
ReplyDelete--Fred the Dwarf.
Instead of bolting, one of your guys probably would have tried to cut you out of the web.
DeleteYour list perfectly sums up why people are still playing Dungeons & Dragons 40 years after they first discovered it.
ReplyDeleteZ.