Me: How's it hanging?
God: I am fine, thank you.
Me: I hear your birthday is coming up.
God: Who is saying my birthday is coming up?
Me: The usual suspects.
God: I hear you.
Me: You realize your birthday leaves me with that age-old conundrum.*
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: I realize your birthday leaves him or her with that age old conundrum.
Me: Not at all.
God: Next question?
Me: What do you want for your birthday?
God: My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me: Whoa! I thought you had figured that crap out a long time ago!
God: I stopped. What happened to it?
Me: Hell if I know, man. Did you misplace your omniscience or something?
God stopped talking to me after that. Maybe you'll have better luck.
*What to get someone who has everything.
Your Random Solicitor
40 minutes ago