Hi! My name is Abe! What's your name? Do you want to sniff my butt? I already smelled yours. You should do something about that.
Anyway, I just got back from the stinky hole that smells like rat poop and lizard breath. It was so much fun! I went with my master Blixa and some other people, one of which was very small and had furry feet that smelled like mushrooms.
We fought a big lizard! Was that the dragon everyone is so worked up about? I got to bite it but it wasn't very tasty. Do you have any food? I like cheese and sausages best. We found some cheese in a goblin house and my master gave me a piece of it. It was yummy! But then a storm blew in. The thunder scared me. But before that we found a magic chair. I sat in it and the magic made all the people smarter so they could understand me.
Then I found a rat hole but the rat was too deep in it for me to bite. You know what's even better than biting rats? Chasing them!
"Man, is there anything Jeff CAN'T do when it comes to gaming? This guy is like a critical 20 every roll. Jeff can bite the heads offa five game geeks, including their sorry-ass DM, and spit 'em into a large duffel bag ONE AT A TIME!...that's just the kind of messed up bastard he is! You think yer a gamer, punk? Well..do ya? Jeff will depants your weasel-ass right in front of your grandma."