POSSIBLE DESTRUCTION MEANS FOR ARTIFACTS/RELICSAll that’s taken from page 164 of the first edition Dungeon Masters Guide. I love this list. Here are some of my random thoughts, by entry.
Artifacts and relics are virtually impervious to magical and physical harm and each may only be “destroyed” by a single legendary means. Frequently, the supposed “destruction” is actually a form of nullification or containment of the artifact/relic, but results in the neutralization of its powers for vast periods of time. The following table suggests various means that might apply to the destruction of an artifact/relic and is open to additions and alterations by the DM. No artifact/relic should have the same nemesis as another; though the means may be the same, the specifics should vary. It should be kept in mind that the means of destruction are as a rare and unattainable as are the artifacts/relics themselves. Actively seeking the destruction of an artifact/relic is tedious, demanding, and fraught with great perils to body and soul, and the chances of surviving the destruction of the artifact/relic are minute without the grace of the gods.
The way to destroy a particular artifact/relic is to:
1. Melt it down in the fiery furnace, pit, mountain, forge, crucible or kiln in which it was created.
2. Drop it into or bury it beneath (1) the Well of Time, (2) the Abyss, (3) the Earth Wound, (4) Adonais’ Deep, (5) the Spring of Eternity, (6) Marion’s Trench, (7) the Living Stone, (8) Mountain of Thunder, (9) 100 adult red dragon skulls, (10) the Tree of the Universe.
3. Cause it to be devoured by (1) Cerebus, (2) a Lernaean Hydra, (3) a Titan, (4) an ancient Dragon Turtle.
4. Cause it to be broken against/by or crushed by (1) Talos, a triple iron golem, (2) the Gates of Hell, (3) the Cornerstone of the World, (4) Artur’s Dolmen, (5) the Juggernaut of the Endless Labyrinth, (6) the heel of a god, (7) the Crashing Rocks, (8) the foot of a humble ant.
5. Expose it to the penetrating light and flame of (1) the Ray of Eternal Shrinking, (2) the Sun, (3) Truth: that which is pure will become Light, that which is unpure will surely wither.
6. Cause it to be steeped in either the encephalic fluids of the brain of Bahamut (the platinum dragon), or in the black and foul blood from the heart of Tiamat, the chromatic dragon.
7. Cause it to be seared by the odious flames of Geryon’s destroyed soul or disintegrated in the putrid ichor of Juiblex’s deliquescing flesh.
8. Sprinkle it with/baptize it in the (1) Well of Life, (2) River Styx, (3) River of Flame, (4) River Lethe (the river of forgetfulness).
Legended items and regions should be placed by the DM in his or her own milieu in isolated locales – preferably warded by mighty mythical and magical guardians (e.g., the serpent which guarded the golden fleece).
1. What treachery is this? Could this be Gygax making a Lord of the Rings reference? Impossible! Everyone knows that Tolkien was but a minor influence on D&D! But more seriously, I like this option because it makes the DM think about where the artifact was created. And I get a kick out of pondering what sort of unholy kiln could create magical hands and eyeballs.
2. Dropping an artifact into the Abyss really speaks to me. It suggests that the Abyss isn’t just a place where demons live, rather it’s literally a hole in creation. Like a black hole but on a more cosmic scale. And what’s at the bottom of the hole? Is there a bottom? Only the bodaks know and they can’t or won’t tell you. 100 adult red dragon skulls seems like an easy one to me. Couldn’t you just use repeated polymorph spells to farm red dragons? Are the rest of the place entries references or did Gary just pull them out of his ass? I need to get googling.
3. The prospect of the PCs trying to figure out how to feed the Machine of Lum the Mad to Cerebus just makes me smile. At least you know where to find the critter, even if you don’t really want to go there. Lernaean Hydras and Titans are interesting choices here, since you can just encounter them on the wandering monster charts. By ‘ancient’ Dragon Turtle I assume the draconic definition of ‘ancient’, i.e. maximum hit points. Maybe you could follow one of Apesh’s maps to destroy your artifact.
4. By ‘triple iron golem’ I assume that Gygax means an iron golem with three times as many hit points and three times as large, but I’d be up for a three-headed golem myself, maybe with three bodies joined shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder. Crushing something with the Gates of Hell would be a neat idea. I kind of imagine that Ol’ Scratch likes to keep them open to welcome all comers, so you’d probably have to fight the bad guys before you could close them. Is Artur’s Dolmen at Stonehedge? Should I start rolling percentile dice every time PCs encounter ants, to see if any of them are humble?
5. Given that my campaign setting includes space travel as an option, dropping an artifact into the Sun wouldn’t necessarily be that hard. Just go to the spaceport and hire a cab. I don’t know which I find more intriguing, the idea of Eternally Shrinking something or the fact that in the middle of this section Gygax suddenly waxes philosophic on the nature of Truth.
6. The typical Lawful character in my campaign would probably balk at this one. You’re basically telling them that to destroy an artifact they need to first kill God, or possibly Satan.
7. This entry is pure poetry. “The Odious Flames of My Destroyed Soul” should be the name of a ridiculous goth band.
8. I like how Uncle Gary goes to the trouble to remind us what the River Lethe does. In case we forgot.
Have any Gameblog readers played in a campaign where someone destroyed an artifact using one of the methods Gygax lists? Have any DM’s out there put Adonais’ Trench or the Cornerstone of the World on their campaign maps? I’m thinking of putting one or two of these strange places onto my hexmap, just ‘cause I can.
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Posts
As I read it, any particular relic has one (and probably only one) way to destroy it. So if dropping something into the sun is easy in your campaign, it seems likely that all the artifacts that could be destroyed that way have already been disposed of over the millennia. Also, you wouldn't need to decide whether any particular ant was humble unless you happened to have an artifact (the artifact?) that could be destroyed by one.
ReplyDeleteMy initial thought about the triple iron golem was that there was a substance called "triple iron" (perhaps three times as strong and durable as regular iron?) that the golem would have to be made of.
My players did once get hold of an artifact, which they deemed to dangerous to allow to continue to exist, and went on a quest to the Land of Death and Dreams to give it to the God of Death for safekeeping. That was fun.
My initial thought about the triple iron golem was that there was a substance called "triple iron" (perhaps three times as strong and durable as regular iron?) that the golem would have to be made of.
ReplyDeleteHoly cow! That's a great idea!
My memories are hazy of the exact sequence of events, but my college group did toss an original artifact I created using the 1st edition ones as a guideline into a sun. They first had to get their hands on an aether ship, then sail it close to the sun. They were, of course, attacked, and in the combat the mage's (NPC hireling) apprentice was knocked out of the ship and into the sun as well. However, as he fell into the sun at the same time as artifact, instead of dying he became a god. Not that they figured that out until nearly six months (real life) later.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know, very Marvel Comics. "Nobody dies forever." ;D
I've always been a big fan of the "humble ant" destruction scenario. Does Gary mean "humble as in possessing the qualities of humbleness" or "humble as in mere or commonplace"?
ReplyDeleteAs with a lot of the classic rules, it's up to the ref to make the call.
The first thing I envisioned when I read Talos was the Colossus of Rhodes.
ReplyDeleteThat Gygax dude sure had some wicked cool ideas. ;-)
Talos is the giant animated statue from Jason and the Argonauts. He's made of bronze in the movie, not iron, but this is almost certainly what Gary was referring to in the DMG.
ReplyDeleteI always thought of "triple iron" in the same way, sort of like a four-cheese pizza.
ReplyDeleteTalos is the giant animated statue from Jason and the Argonauts. He's made of bronze in the movie, not iron, but this is almost certainly what Gary was referring to in the DMG.
ReplyDeleteWorks for me, as the mythical Talos was also made of bronze. Had the same weakness too, with the single vein of ichor that opened all too damn easily.
Hm. Think I need to give more golems unusual weakness and sources of power ...
Another thumbs-up for the "humble ant" method of destruction. When I was young and dumb and literal-minded (as opposed to just dumb and literal-minded like I am now), I spent many hours pondering how an ant could destroy Heward's Mystical Organ with its foot...
ReplyDeleteI never got a chance to introduce an artifact into any of my games. I love the idea of including one or more of those mythical locations on the campaign map, though...something I'll have to keep in mind for the future.
What, 9 comments so far and no has yet admitted to being 14 years old and sniggering at the double entendre inherent in "burying" something in "Marion's Trench"?
ReplyDeleteNudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!
Yeah.
In my 2E AD&D campaign the Characters found obsidian like pieces that created a "vorpal" sword called the Vlindaran Shard. In actuality it was part of the power sorce for the "world tree" starship that Elves used to colonize the planet and then sent in a massive elliptical orbit in space (every few thousand years the thing would appear as a "comet" in teh sky.)
ReplyDeleteThe Characters visited the ship and found it infested with Mind Flayers and Beholders so they figured out how to self-destruct the thing and managed to destroy the "shard." One of the greedier Characters really wanted the "shard" sword and had a ring of wishes...twisted that poorly worded Wish and the whole ship came back into being. They went and destroyed it again only this time the "shard" (one of about a dozen in the ship's power source) fell to the planet and was snatched up by the BBEG before teh Characters could recover it. I too like me some SciFi in my Fantasy!
Should I start rolling percentile dice every time PCs encounter ants, to see if any of them are humble?
ReplyDeleteNo, man. That's what the random personality trait table is for. "Lessee. OK, you found an ant, but it's ... *rattle* ooh, a lecherous hypochondriac. Bad luck."
4. By ‘triple iron golem’ I assume that Gygax means an iron golem with three times as many hit points and three times as large, but I’d be up for a three-headed golem myself, maybe with three bodies joined shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder.
ReplyDeleteYeah. This would be the Tri-Sentinel that Spider-Man had to fight when he was exposed to the Enigma Force.
"What, 9 comments so far and no has yet admitted to being 14 years old and sniggering at the double entendre inherent in "burying" something in "Marion's Trench"?"
ReplyDeleteI was wondering why nobody else picked that one out. When I first read it, I thought: "'Marion's Trench'? I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole." LOL
While I'm sure I've used a few these over the years, the Cornerstone of the World plays a major part in the mythology of my primary D&D milieu. Essentially, when the dragons finished building the world and the gods set up to run it, there was a large piece intersecting several domains that no one could decide what to do with. This large, generally triangular land mass was removed from the world until the gods could figure out what to do with it.
ReplyDeleteThe region this 'The Cornerstone of the World' occupied is now a bottomless triangular hole in the ocean. Legends say the Cornerstone was eventually returned and only by navigating past the triangle "the wrong way forward" can you land on it. A Grey Dragon that seems to be made of stone lives there.
There are many stories surrounding this place and the Grey Dragon that supposedly calls it home.
We had the sun, the forge from whence it came, and under Talos' heel come up in play. (Our Talos was the argonauts guy, triple hp, triple damage etc. from ordinary iron golem stats.)
ReplyDeleteIt was both lame and cool when many years later, these old high-level badasses dusted off for 3e, a single Mordenkainen's Disjunction from a 20th level lich and his troop of demons wound up destroying three PC artifacts in a single fight. They don't make 'em like they used to, I guess.
At least I took those characters down a peg.
- Calithena
I'm pretty sure that when I was about 12 we destroyed an artifact (possibly the Sword of Kas?) by disintegrating it in the putrid ichor of Juiblex’s deliquescing flesh. Unfortunately, this was achieved with a simple Polymorph Other spell, turning him into a harmless critter that was squished. We hadn't read the spell description properly and so didn't realize there was a saving throw.
ReplyDeleteSoon afterwards we were enlightened and our god-killing campaign was over.
Love all these destruction methods. Just been reading the old DMG for nostalgia's sake...
ReplyDeleteI do remember sniggering about having to bury my Axe of the Dwarvish Lords in Marion's Trench.
I also recall us having one artifact that could only be destroyed by the foot of a humble ant. Oracles, divination spells, we tried them all but we never figure out what it meant in game.
I do remember it made us hideously paranoid about letting ants anywhere near our Hut of Baba Yaga, just in case.