Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Bestiary of Bob

For years one of my favorite webcomics has been Bob the Angry Flower. The subject matter of the strip runs the gamut from international politics to mad science (real and imaginary) to the horrors of trying to give up smoking, all with easy cartoony linework, weird characters and fun dialogue. And along the way creator Stephen Notley whips up quite a few monsters, which leads to today's post.

Stab Fairy
Number Encountered: 1d6
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 60' (20') Fly: 180' (60')
Armor Class: 3
Hit Dice: 1+1
Attacks: 4
Damage: 1d4
Save: Elf 2
Morale: 9
Hoard Class: III + IV

Stab Fairies are the warrior class among fey peoples such as pixies and sprites. They attack larger creatures by flying into their foe's faces and slashing with all four blade limbs. Survivors of combats with these little maniacs often sport jagged facial scars.

Knife Ghost
Number Encountered: 2d4
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 120' (40') Fly: 240' (80')
Armor Class: 2
Hit Dice: 6
Attacks: 2
Damage: 2d4
Save: Fighter 6
Morale: 11
Hoard Class: XVII

These undead have slashing knives, snipping scissors and spinning dental instruments where their hands should be. Knife ghosts are immune to sleep, charm, hold and invulnerable to normal weapons, including silver. The wounds caused by these creatures rusty and dirty blades may not be healed in any manner until the victim is the recipient of a cure disease spell. [My bud Stuart whipped me up some 3E stats for Knife Ghosts back in '04 or so, but I'll be damned if I can find them right now.]

Number Encountered: 1
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 30' (10') Swim 120' (40')
Armor Class: 7
Hit Dice: 20
Attacks: 10
Damage: 1d12
Save: Fighter 20
Morale: 9
Hoard Class: XV

These tentacled horrors normally lurk in the deepest ocean trenches and certain murky underground lakes, but they occasionally visit the surface world for the purpose of rampage. Instead of attacking with its mighty tentacles a cephalogod may opt to fix its loathsome gaze upon any single creature, who must save versus paralysis at -4 or be held for 2d6 turns.

Number Encountered: 1 (unique)
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 120' (40') Fly: 120' (40')
Armor Class: 4
Hit Dice: 8
Attacks: 1
Damage: 1d6
Save: Magic User 8
Morale: 11
Hoard Class: XVIII (none if summoned)

Certain horrible grimoires record the ritual necessary for the conjuration of this infernal terror. Belaphathon casts spells as an 8th level magic-user and it is usually called to teach the summoner new spells. Note that it will only teach one spell per summoning unless the parties can agree to some long term pact. As is normal with such beings, Belaphathon will twist the meaning of commands, seek to bargain for the eternal soul of the conjurer, etc. Belaphathon cannot be harmed by normal weapons, but is vulnerable to silver and any weapon that has been blessed by a cleric since it last shed blood.

Attack Banana
Number Encountered: 1d6
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 90' (30')
Armor Class: 9
Hit Dice: 1
Attacks: 1
Damage: 1d4
Save: Fighter 1
Morale: 9
Hoard Class: none

These guys aren't automatically hostile, but they have very short tempers. Angry attack bananas hop up to foes and latch on with their vicious fangs. Once they have sunk teeth into their victim they will not let go, doing automatic damage each round until dead. No doubt another creation of some smirking archmage with too much time on his hands.

1 comment:

  1. I wanna throw a Stardust Potato into a pit with an Attack Banana and create a whole new "cockfighting produce" genre :)