Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Julius Caesar was a PC

Dig this panel from The Life of Julius Caesar, a comic book I found in the kid's section of my local library.

Take a close look at that panel. You know what I heard in my head when I first saw it?

DM: Enough with the lesbian jokes, you nimrods. Are you going to attack this city or not?

JC: Those soldiers I instructed to make scaling ladders, are they done yet?

DM: Not really. They're about fifty percent complete with the ladders.

JC: Good enough. I grab one of the ladders and rush the city, shouting "Come on, you Nancy's! Do you want to live forever?" to my troops.

DM: Okay, you run up under heavy arrow fire. You take twelve points of damage total but you reach the walls.

JC: Ouch! I place the ladder and scramble up to the top, inspiring my troops to bravery!

DM: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that you only take 3 more points of damage from arrow fire. The bad news is that you didn't specify that you were grabbing a completed ladder.