Below you will see clear, undisputable documentary evidence that Ronald McDonald is a ninja master.
This clipping is from a super secret ninja training manual published by the McDonald's faceless corporate minions. They disguise these secret ninjutsu techniques by hiding them in plain sight, putting this hidden knowledge on the side panel of a Happy Meal bag promoting the new Ninja Turtles movie.
I'm still trying to figure out how the Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz dolls promo'd on the other half of the package fits in to this vast conspiracy. All I know is that we live in a world where the Clown Prince of Hamburgers is teaching kids how to unlock the warrior within. Suddenly the Glinda the Good Witch doll my daughter got seems a little sinister.
2 hours ago