Brawl at the Tanglebones Tavern

Of all the drinking establishments in the Snail Quarter, why come to the Tanglebones Tavern?  The location is terrible, unless you happen to run out of the back door of a nearby gambling den or boxing pit and need a place to duck into quickly.  The interior is drafty and the food is terrible, unless you favor burnt trout served with a mug of alligator milk (I honestly don't know).  Because the doors and ceiling are higher than for most gin joints in the area, the Tanglebones has become the favored venue for trolls to get their drink on.  Once the owner realized this trend, he started hiring trollish barmaids.

So unless you like the shivering by the fireplace and inhaling the funk of up to a dozen trolls, there's only two things that recommend the Tanglebones to most patrons.  The first is nightly performances of a rather good belly dancer.  The other is the cheap drinks.  No one quite knows how, but the owner can sell fairly good mead for 3 coppers a pint when every other place in the quarter charges five.

Each number on the chart is the rough location of a table and/or group.  As the brawl breaks out, here's the general disposition of the joint.

3 - A lumpy-headed member of the Blueboys, a local gang with ties to the King of Thieves, has arrived late to the card game at table 9.  The other members are hollering at this poor sap as he rushes across the room.

6 - Seated here are an albino elf looking all moody and Elricish, Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing, and a Greek Hoplite with his armor on a spare chair and his helmet on the table.

7 - One of the trollish barmaids is serving drinks here to three thuggish types, one dude with an eyepatch, one guy wearing a jester hat incongruous with the rest of his outfit and a gal with stringy hair who's jabbed a dagger into the table in front of her.

9 - Here's where the three hollering Blueboys are playing cards.  You can tell they're members of this gang because they all wear woolen peasant caps died blue.

10 - The trio here are furtively whispering to each other.  One is a huge man with a hand of iron chased with silver, one a blonde woman with menacing grey eyes, the third is the ugliest Gandalf you've ever seen: a gnarled little man-thing in grey robe smoking a churchwarden pipe with a staff leaning against the wall behind him.

11 - The owner, a gruff old man just as drunk as the patrons, is serving mead to a pair of trolls.  One is huge, nearly 9' tall, while the other is only man-sized.  The latter is wearing a baby bonnet and smoking a cigar. 

12 - At this end of the bar sits a flying monkey straight out of the Wizard of Oz, a gibbering pile of cancer and tentacles, a Koopa Troopa, and the hairiest human you've ever seen.  Even his beard seems to have hair growing out of it.

14 - Five members of another local gang, the Bronze Skulls, sit here.  They can be spotted by their gaudy skull rings.  The other trollish barmaid has just set down the last mug of another round.

15 - The local belly dancer, Peerless Puichiena, is sitting on the edge of the stage and sulking.  Her flutist is late again.

19 - Four shadowy figures sit around a table: a scruffy fellow, a muppet (no seriously), a Catholic priest in full regalia, and a little long-eared freak.

20 - an anthropomorphic mole, a well-dressed amphibian, a man in bluejeans and a young man in wizard robes

The end results are a little more Mos Eisley and a little less Long Branch Saloon than I had expected, but that's FLAILSNAILS for you.

Each round a player will receive some small info and a list of moves.  Move Across The Room (choose destination by number) and Make Some Crap Up are always options.  Don't overdo the latter please.

Additionally, you may receive a Special Move opportunity, depending on the situation and if the dice go your way.  Additionally, you will receive between 3 to 5 attack and defense options from this chart (how many you get depends on your Int score and your randomly determined state of inebriation).   You will also receive the last defense option used by your nearest foe.

No dice are rolled for these attacks.  If you get a '0' you missed.  1/4 and 1/2 are glancing hits, while 1 and 2 are solid hits.  A, B, and C are special results that really lay the smack down.

Every time you use this chart you are hoping that your attack lands before the foe changes defense on their move.  If you have a substantially higher Dex than your foe, you ought to pound the snot out of them.  But your Dex may be lower than you think, depending on how drunk you are.

(Ignore the penciled-in numbers.  That's from a previous owner.)

Any questions?