Random Advancement Preface

[This was written to be added to the Random Advancement compilation, which continues to grow.]

Preface: Why?

A few people have questioned the need for an alternative advancement scheme for use with any fantasy roleplaying system (you know, where “any” is meant to stand for “that one game and all its closest imitators”). Although I cannot speak for my many august collaborators, I think it would be useful to outline my personal reasons for embracing random advancement in my own campaign. I will try to be brief.

The earliest versions of the dear old game featured what I might call Lockstep Advancement. Apart from the die throw for hit points, nothing distinguished one fighting man of fifth level from another, in terms of class abilities. Obviously different ability scores, equipment, magic items, character disposition, and player skill could easily set one Swashbuckler apart from the next, but all their abilities as a fighter 5 could be expressed with a hit total and a level title. Clerics, thieves, and many other classes acted in much the same way; each level of advancement brought the exact same benefits vis-a-vis their class designation.

This was, in fact, a very useful state of affairs for the prospective referee. NPCs could be expressed quite succinctly. The one exception to this scheme early on was the magic-user, whose spellbook determined their class abilities. Other class ability customization started to creep in via things like druid bonus languages and weapon proficiencies. Inspired by skill-based alternatives to the original game (RuneQuest, Rolemaster, etc.), non-weapon proficiencies appeared in late first edition AD&D and skills showed up in BECMI.

Later versions of the game pushed more towards what I call Total Customizability, following in the wake of points-based affairs like GURPS and the HERO System. The rise of Feats and Prestige Classes sent a million players scurrying to make the perfect “build” for their D&D character. This is a great thing if you have a specific vision of what you want your PC to be when they grow up, or if you’re the kind of player who likes to find the most potent combo allowed by the rules.

Random Advancement is proposed here as a third alternative. Not as a substitute for either of its predecessors, but as an alternative for certain kinds of campaigns, certain kinds of referees, and certain kinds of players. Note that the concept of random advancement is not new. Traveller character generation had it from the beginning. And see Jonathan Becker’s nifty Exceptional Traits rules in The Complete B/X Adventurer for another implementation of it in D&D.

Why try random advancement? I can think of a few reasons why I like it:

• Rolling dice when you level up is fun.
• Players can access all sorts of kewl powerz without having to do a bunch of planning.
• Since said powerz show up by random die roll, you can sprinkle the chart with some doozies (or some sick power combos) without them coming up every dang game.
• As a player, not knowing how your PC is going to grow and change appeals to me.
• As a DM, not knowing what the PCs are even capable of keeps me on my toes.

So if discovering the capabilities of the PCs sounds just as interesting to you as discovering the what lurks in the dungeon, then maybe this alternative is for you.

random advancement chart: Pandimensional Vagabond

Walkers among worlds gain stranger powers during their uncanny peregrinations.  To qualify to roll below, the character must have participated in adventures in at least three different dimensions/planes/campaign worlds, including their homeworld.  This random advancement chart may be used as a one-off substitution for a single normal advancement roll.  To use it again, you must adventure in a previously unvisited world, level up afterwards, and sacrifice a roll on another chart.

Note that several items on this chart assume that your crazy dimension-hopping PC has some undocumented, noncanonical adventures between your known exploits.

Pandimensional Vagabond

01-03  You gain an extra d8 hit die but you must reroll it every time you visit a new campaign world/plane/dimension.

04-05  You gain +3 saves versus any sort of energy attack that isn't one of the four Greek elements (i.e. fire/heat, air/wind, water/cold, or earth).  Reroll if you get this result again.

06  You've gotten really good at first aid.  If immediately after combat you bind wounds, you can heal d4 damage to a number of people equal to your level.

07-09  You know what surprised you the most about travelling between universes?  A whole lot of Creation really stinks.  No, literally.  You are now +4 saves versus reek attacks like stinking cloud, ghast farts, troglodyte B.O., etc.

10-11  You've been in barroom brawls in all the trashiest universes.  You may make 2 unarmed strikes per round for d3 damage each.  If you roll a 19+ your foes must save versus paralyzation or be knocked out cold.

12  Seeing how big the universe is tends to make a lot of human conflicts seem petty.  You gain +1 Wisdom and your alignment shifts one step closer to true neutrality.  You do not lose any class abilities due to this change.  If you are already true neutral, you gain +2 Wis.

13-15  Smug know-it-all: Once per session after another PC has blown some non-combat roll of some sort you may attempt to do the exact same thing, but with a +2 to the roll.  You may do this with things anyone can do, like listening at doors, but you may also attempt specialty skill you don't even have, like disarming traps.

16-17  You know the basics of piloting/operating some kind of high tech vehicle.  You can bank this knowledge until you need it, then announce with a grin "Sure, I know how to fly a T-16 Skyhopper!" or whatever.

19-20  You don't survive the cosmos by paying retail.  Once per session you may make a purchase at 75% of list price.

21-23  You've knocked back so many Pangalactic Gargle Blasters in filthy dives across the multiverse that you are now +2 to save versus any ingested poison.  Rerolls of this increase the bonus by an additional +2.

24-25  Once per session when you have to make a die roll where only sheer dumb luck is involved (i.e. no modifiers for skill or items or anything else), you may take the better of two rolls.

26  You can see the cracks in the structures of individual universes, allowing you to dimension door once per session.

27-28  Before someone near you does something that will rip a hole in the fabric of reality, you get a Wisdom check to recognize what a Very Bad Idea it is.  Reroll if you get this result again.

29-31  You gain a random mutation.

32-33  You seen and done so much, it's getting harder and harder to surprise you.  Any time you are surprised for one or more actions, you may make a Wisdom check to avoid one segment of surprise.  Reroll if you get this result again.

34  Weird pet: go through some monster book and find a critter (not a person) of hit dice equal to half you level.  It cannot be an ordinary earth animal.  One such creature is now your special buddy.

35-36  You've bummed around with so many wizards and elfs and whatnot that you've picked up an extra bit of magic.  You gain a random MU spell of d6 level as a once per session power, but you have to make an Int roll to cast it successfully.  If you roll a 20 it goes hilariously awry.

37-39  Neanderthals and other cave primitives just immediately realize that you're cool.  +2 reaction rolls from the paleolithic set.  If you roll this again, gain a cave person as a henchweenie.  Reroll the third and subsequent occurrences of this item.

40-41  You learn a new language for a monster species not normally considered to be a sentient speaking race, like Green Slimish or Skeletonese.  You may parlay with members of this species as if they were regular people.

42  There's a certain hill on the southern continent of the Dreamworld where you once got a really good panoramic view of the entirety of Creation.  It was pretty rad.  Since most confusion effects are based on overriding the brain's ability to filter out the complexities of the cosmos, you are now immune to confusion attacks.  Reroll if you get this result again.

43-44  You gain a loyal first level henchweirdo.  They cannot belong to a race or class in any D&D core rulebook.

45-47  You spend a LOT of time talking yourself out of trouble.  +1 Cha.

48-49  Choose a standard class.  It cannot be your own.  You may now use any magic item allowed to that class.

Jenny Everywhere
by Diana Nock

50  You make a lot of strange friends bumming around the cosmos.  You may declare that a hostile or indifferent nonhuman but intelligent monster is, in fact, an old drinking buddy.  Roll (or reroll) reactions at +2 on the dice.  This works once.
51-52  You understand the basics of operating machinery and electronics well beyond the ken of most people from backwater medieval fantasy universes.  There's always at least a 1 in 6 chance you really screw up, though.  Reroll if you get this result again.
53-55  You're really good at jury-rigging repairs with whatever is handy.  Once per session you can fix a broken or malfunctioning device with an Intelligence check, but the DM can require the sacrifice of any d6 items you and your friends happen to have on them.  Reroll if you get this result again.
56-57  Any time you are swallowed whole by a monster they must save versus poison or puke you up.  Reroll if you get this result again.
58  Dogs just like you.  +1 reactions from any canine encountered.
59-60  You pick up some training in another class.  Pick any other random advancement chart (including the ones for other races), you may now use that chart for one advancement roll per level.
61-63  Smooth talker from out of town: +1 reaction rolls to seduce people who have never left their home universe.
64-65  Any time you would take half damage from a successful save, you can take no damage instead BUT you must sacrifice either an item in your hand or something you are wearing.  Reroll if you get this result again.
66  You can sometimes see into extra dimensions.  Once per session you can see invisible, ethereal, astral, etc. stuff for up to 1 turn.  Rerolls add 1 turn to the duration.  Reroll if you get this result again.
67-68  You gain +1 on finding secret doors.  +2 if rolling on a d20.
69-71 Once per session you may pull a useful item out of your pocket/backpack/whatever.  This item is roughly as useful as anything on the standard miscellaneous equipment list, but it can't be any of those objects.  Like if you need rope, you can't select that but you could have a folding ladder in your backpack.
72-73  Once per session if the DM is using a die roll to see who among the party is attacked or affected by something bad, you can simply opt out of the determination.  It's as if you weren't there.
74  You can immediately recognize a wand of wonder or any other magic item with a similar random chart of dumb effects for what it is, just by looking at it.  If you roll this again, you may use such items and make an Int roll to control what happens (i.e. you get to look at the table and pick an effect).  If you roll a 20 then d6 effects happen to you and you alone.  Reroll the third and subsequent rolls on this chart.
75-76  If come across a magic portal that is dangerous in any way (like maybe it zaps for damage when you use it), you get an Int check to recognize that fact before you use it.  Reroll if you get this result again.
77-79  You've picked up a little Venusian Aikido somewhere along the way.  Roll on the Red Dragon Fighting Society chart.
80-81  Demons and other extraplanar entities can see from your aura that you are a walker among worlds and not some local yokel.  You have +1 reaction rolls when parlaying with such beings.  Rerolls increase the modifier.
82  Whenever you find yourself suddenly dropped into a hostile environment (under water, in a volcano, on the moon, in the heart of a black hole, etc.) you may make a save versus magic to act normally, sustaining no environmental penalties or damage, for d6 turns.  You may do this exactly once.
83-84  The next time you are subject to a curse effect it somehow skips you and is inflicted on another random party member.  This works just once.
85-86  Wanderers such a hobos, nomads, the Galactica refugee fleet, etc., recognize you as one of their own.  They will hide you from the police, smuggle you and your friends across the border, etc, but you may end up having to marry someone to get their help.
87-89  If you have any missing or mangled body parts, you gain a cybernetic replacement at some chopshop down the street from Callahan's Crosstime Saloon.  If you are not missing an eye or a hand or whatever, roll d10 on this chart to find your new mechanical enhancements:

1. Xray Eye - Clairvoyance 1/session
2. Lazor Eyes - Shoot beam attacks up to 120' for 2d6 damage, 10 shots then recharges over 24 hours
3. Flame Arm - Integral flamethrower 3d6 save for half, cone 30' long, 20' wide, once per session
4. Robo Arms - +2 Str
5. Murder Hand - One of your hands is now a vicious melee weapon of some sort, doing d8 damage.  Choose randomly which hand it is.  If it's your sword arm, you're +2 to hit.  If it's your off arm you get a second attack per round at -2.
6. Robo Legs - +20' per round running speed
7. Dermal Plating - +1 AC
8. Filter Lungs - +4 saves versus poison gas
9. CyberLiver - +2 saves versus ingested poisons
10. ComputoBrain - +2 Int, -2 Cha, +2 saves versus charms

Reroll if the same enhancement comes up a second time.

90-91  You are +2 to-hit with your favorite weapon.  If you lose that specific weapon, it will take you a whole session with no bonus to adjust to a new one.  You cannot simply replace the weapon with a better one, the old one must be lost or destroyed.  If this is rolled again, you gain +2 damage as well.  A third roll grants you an extra attack each round with the specific weapon.  Reroll subsequent rolls of this item.
92  If you are ever teleported stealthily, like in a labyrinth to mess up mapping, you instantly know you've been ported.
93-94  You gain +1 to a random stat.
95-97  If you are a spellcaster, you gain a new spell slot one level higher than you should.  If you are not a caster, you gain random 1st level spell from your choice of the cleric or MU charts s a daily power.
98-99  Your body and equipment now vibrate at a strange frequency.  Any attacks by you count as silver or cold iron.  If you roll this again, they count as +1 magic.  Reroll subsequent rolls of this item.
100  The next time you die you leave a pile of empty clothes, like Ben Kenobi.  You reappear elsewhere in the cosmos, bereft of equipment but alive.  This works only once.  You may never return to the world where you died without immediately dropping dead. 

Random Advancement Gnome-As-Class

The Gnome

To play a gnome you need to have both Int and Con of at least 9.  You use d6 for hit dice and use the halfling chart for XP.  Like halflings, you are limited to 8th level (suck it up, that's how BX rolls).  Your initial saves are as an Elf 1.  You can wear any armor and there's a 50% chance that magic armor sized for halflings or dwarves will fit you.  Weapons allowed: hand axe, shortbow, light crossbow, dagger, shortsword, club, sling, spear, warhammer.  You speak gnomish and common initially, can listen at doors on a 2 in 6, and have 60' infravision.  If you can get your sorry gnomish butt past first level then each time you level up you may roll d6 more hit points and make two throws on this chart:

01  Roll on the Elf chart instead.  If you get the "gain a spell slot" result, treat it as 26-40 below.
02-18  You get more fighty, +1 to-hits.
19-23  You gain +1 to all saves.
24  You gain d4 more hit points.
25  Gain a language, roll d6: 1) dwarf, 2) elvish, 3) goblin, 4) hafling, 5) orc, 6) svirfneblin.  If you end up here again and roll the same language you are now so eloquent in that tongue that all reaction rolls are +1 when using it with native speakers.  Reroll subsequent rolls of the same language.  Reroll if you collect all six twice.
26-40 You gain a random 1st illusionist spell as a daily power.  On subsequent rolls you get a second level spell, then a third, etc.  (For a source of illusionist spells, I like the 1st edition Player's Handbook & Unearthed Arcana or Best of Dragon vol. 1)  Reroll this result if you actually gain one spell of each level through 7th.
41-50 The first time you roll this you gain all the skills of a first level thief.  Ever subsequent roll advances your thievery by one level.  Note that you can only sneak and climb while wearing no armor, leather, studded leather, or ring mail.
51-52 You get additional training with a traditional gnomish weapon.  Roll d8 for weapon type.

1. warhammer - If you roll maximum damage against a foe with platemail, a shield, or a chitinous shell, you then also reduce their AC by d3 points as you bust up their armor.
2. crossbow - Your crit range improves by one.
3. shortsword - Your ability to parry grants you +2 ac versus melee opponents of man size or smaller
4. spear - +1 to hit and damage
5. shortbow - You may fire two arrows per round of combat.
6. club - Thanks to secret Gnome Fu you can hurt creatures normally only struck by magic weapons.
7. sling - You do triple damage against ogres, trolls, giants, and titans.
8. gnome hooked hammer - You can make one bludgeon attack for d6 and one piercing attack for d4 each round or a single trip attack at +2 to-hit.  (One of these babies costs 20gp new, by the way)

If you roll this result again, you can collect additional weapons training, but reroll the d8 if you get the same result a second time.  Reroll this result after you have all 8.

53-55 You've got the tinker gnome thing going.  You adventure with half a backpack full of gears and springs and steampunk nonsense and a bunch of tools on your belt.  Once per session you can build a contraption of some sorts to solve a problem (open a door or chest, set up a diversion for an ambush, or darn near anything that a smallish machine might be able to accomplish).  It will generally do its job but there is a 1 in 6 chance that it goes horribly awry.  Reroll if you get this result again.
56 You can't kid a kidder, as my uncle Jim used to say.  Once per session you can attempt to disbelieve an illusion so hard that it is completely dispelled, no roll required.   However, if you try to disbelieve something that is real, you must save versus paralyzation or be stunned d3 rounds.
57-58 +1 Intelligence.  If you already have max Int, gain +1 Wis instead.  If you have max Wis as well, then you get nothing.  Do not reroll.
59-60 Stone Lore. Underground you can detect slanting passages, traps, shifting walls, and new construction 2 in 6.  Subsequent rolls of this item increases it to 3 in 6, then 4 in 6, finally 5 in 6.  Reroll after that.
61 Goblin Loathing.  You are +2 to hit against goblins and +1 versus other goblinoid creatures (hobgoblins and bugbears, for instance).  If you roll this again you also gain +2/+1 damage.  Reroll the third and subsequent rolls of this item.
62 That big nose ain't just for show.  You're only surprised 1 in 6 thanks to your advanced sense of smell.  Does not help against noncorporeal undead, ethereal or astral monsters, and other immaterial foes.  If you roll this a second time, you can now smell those jerks as well.  Reroll after that.
63-66 Giant Fighter.  Against any anthropomorphic foe of at least gnoll or bugbear size you are +4 AC.  If you roll this again you gain the ability to knock such foes prone anytime you get the maximum result on your damage dice.  Reroll this result after that.
67 Once per session you can get out your gemcutting tools (cost 100gp, takes up half a backpack) and re-cut a gem to attempt to improve it's value.  Roll a d12.  If you get a 1-2 you succeed.  If you get a 12 you shatter the gem.  3-11 no effect.  Upon a successful roll a gem of 10gp value or less becomes worth 50gp.  A gem of up to 50gp value becomes worth 100gp.  Up to 100gp become 500gp.  Up to 500gp becomes 1,000gp.  Up to 1,000gp becomes 5,000gp.  You cannot attempt to improve a gem worth more than 1,000gp.  If you roll this a second time your success rate improve to 1-3 on d12.  If you roll a third time you now roll a d20, 1-5 improves but you only shatter the gem on a 20.  This is all about resale value, you do not get more XP for the improved gem.
68-70 You gain the knowledge of d6 arcane cantrips of your choice (I recommend using either the 1st edition Unearthed Arcana or Uncle Gary's original cantrips articles in Dragon #59 and #60.)  You can cast 3 cantrips per day, no memorization required.  On subsequent rolls of this item you gain d6 more cantrips to choose from, but do not get more uses per day.
71-73 You can speak to normal, giant sized, and enchanted burrowing mammals (such as badgers and rabbits).  If you roll this a second time you gain the ability to speak to any mammal.  Reroll this result after that.
74 Your infravision increases to 90'.  Reroll if this result comes up again.
75-77 Kobold Hate.  +1 to-hit, +1 damage, and one additional melee attack when fighting kobolds.  Also, you get double XP for kobolds slain (but not captured or routed).  Each subsequent roll of this grants you +1 to-hit, damage, and another attack, but the XP multiplier increases to triple, then quadruple, etc.
78 If you don't already, you start wearing one of those pointy red hats (10gp new).  Here's why (roll
d6):

1. Once per session, when you need a piece of standard dungeoneering equipment you don't have, you just happen to have one under your hat.  Even something that doesn't fit, like a 10' pole.
2. Once per session you can pull a random 1st level wandering monster out of your hat.  They will obey you for d6 turns, even doing wildly suicidal things if you so command them.  Upon death or the d6 turns elapsing they disappear in a poof of smoke.
3. Once per session you can take off the hat and use it to negate an incoming spell attack.  The target must be you personally, an adjacent ally, or you must be standing in the area of effect.  The hat ingests the spell effect then lets out a small burp.  Touch spells are unaffected.
4. Once per session you can fill the hat with 100 coins (no more, no less) of the same type, hold it closed, and give it a good shake.  When you pour them out, d100 of the coins will have transformed into the next most valuable currency (copper become silver, silver become gold, gold becomes platinum, platinum becomes 10gp gems).  If you take 1 turn on the second or lower level of a dungeon to do this, the transformation will affect the XP earned from the session.  However, there is a 1 in 6 chance that the hat eats the coins instead.
5. Once per session if you face a creature with a gaze attack, the hat suddenly grows two sizes and falls over your eyes.  You do not need to save to avoid the gaze, but you are blind and can't remove the hat until the encounter is over, at which time it returns to normal size.
6. Once per session you can avoid some sort of instadeath situation by sacrificing the hat.  You avoid the dragons breath but the hat is incinerated, the assassins poisoned crossbow bolt nails the hat to the wall, etc.

Each time you roll this item you may collect a new hat effect, but you may not duplicate the d6 results.  Reroll this item if you somehow collect all six and end up here again.

79 Hench-illusion.  You gain a henchman of random type (Seriously, go wild.  Work with your DM to bust out something really ridiculous.) who is completely loyal.  However, if they are ever subject to a dispel magic, dispel illusion, or are successfully disbelieved by a foe they evaporate instantaneously, for they never actually existed.
80-82 You gain +2 saves versus any magical effect.  On subsequent roll this becomes +4, +6, etc.
83 Peacemaker.  According to legend it was the gnomes who first got the dwarves and elves to sit down and hash out their differences.  Assuming you have a means of communication with both parties, you may hash out a fair and honorable peace between any two warring parties, from squabbling spouses up to feuding intergalactic civilizations.  Except kobolds, because fuck those guys.  If you can get both parties in a room together, this process takes d6 hours.  Otherwise, the limits of local communications technologies become a factor.  The peace will hold for d100 years.  You may do this only once.
84-86 You get a pet.  Roll d4.

1. Badger.  Ac 4, Move 60' (swim 30'), HD 1+2, claw/claw/bite d2/d2/d3
2. Giant badger.  Same as above but man-sized.  HD 3, d3/d3/d6
3. Wolverine.  Ac 5, Move 120', HD 3, d4/d4/d4+1, +4 to-hit due to surliness, if anyone attacks its rear they get a skunk-like musk attack, save or be blinded d8 hours, even if saved they are 50% Str and Dex for 2d4 turns
4. Vorpal Bunny.  Ac 0, Mv leap 120', HD 3, damage d6, crits on 18+

If you roll this a second time and your prior pet(s) is still alive, then you get another of the same.  Otherwise reroll if this result comes up again.
87-88 You're a bit of a tinker gnome back home in your workshop.  You've devised some sort of fairly reliable device that you carry with you on adventures.  Work with your DM to figure out what it is and how it works.  Whatever other details you arrive at, every time you use it there is a flat 1 in 6 chance of catastrophic failure.
89-90 Gain a 1st level Illusionist spell of your choice as a daily power.  On subsequent rolls you get a second level spell, then a third, etc.  (For a source of illusionist spells, I like the 1st edition Player's Handbook & Unearthed Arcana or Best of Dragon vol. 1)  Reroll if you actually gain one spell of each level through 7th.
90-91 If you attempt to put on, use, or otherwise activate a cursed item, you get a save versus Magic to avoid the curse, as you get a tingling sensation just before you fall for it.
92-93 In any situation where the floor, wall, or ceiling of an underground location is unsafe, you have a 4 in 6 chance of detecting the problem in time to give you an action to save yourself and any other gnomes in the party.  If you roll a 1 you can warn non-gnomes in time as well.  Reroll if this result comes up again.
94-95 Amateur Alchemist.  You start each new adventure with a homemade potion of random type.  However, when they are used (not tested) there is a 1 in 6 chance the recipe isn't quite right.  Roll on the Potion Miscibility Table (1s edition DMG page 199) to see what happens, rolling another random potion if necessarily to adjudicate the miscibility results.  If you roll this result again you start with an additional random potion.
96 You have built a good ol' fashioned Gnomish Battle Harness.  It's like that thing Ripley fights the Alien queen with, but all steampunky.  While using it you are effectively human-sized, wearing platemail, have an 18 Str, and 5x current level additional hit points.  You also halve your dexterity while wearing/using it.  You can pop out of it in one round, but it takes a whole turn to strap yourself back in.  The extra hitpoints cannot be healed, but you can repair d6 points with a day of work and at a cost of d100gp in materials.

97-98 If you find a magic item that is a gem or has a gem set in it and the provenance of the item is unknown, you may declare it to be/contain one of the Lost Gnomish Gems of Power.  The item is now usable by any gnome (Unless it's like a two-handed sword of something.  Don't be a clod about this.) and it has additional powers only usable by gnomes.  Roll d4 spells of level d6, generated from any spell list handy.  If the spell is 3rd level or lower, it is a 3x a day power.  Higher level spells become daily powers.  (You can and should ask the DM if any encountered magic item has a gem set in it.  If the DM doesn't know, they should give a flat 1 in 6 chance of it being so, except for potions and scrolls and other wildly inappropriate items to bejewel.  Again, don't be a clod.)  You may do this only once.
99  +1 Constitution.  If you already have max Con, gain +1 Dex as well.  If you already have max Dex too then you get nothing.
00  Roll on the Dwarf chart instead.

It's here: Random Advancement Bard

Minstrelsy is a contagion that strikes as many as 1 in 12 adventurers.  To play a Random Advancement Bard, you must begin as a member of any of the more respectable classes, such as Toad Licker, Sewer Urchin, or Pustule Piercer.  Just grab a ukulele and begin hey-nonny-nonnying your way across the countryside.

The Bard

A member of any class who possesses a Charisma of at least 12, a stringed instrument (30gp new) and a lowered sense of self-worth may elect to become a Bard at any time.  You continue to follow all the normal rules for well-adjusted members of your original class, but each time your character advances a level you substitute one or two rolls (your choice) on your normal advancement chart for rolls on the one below.

Note 1:  You cannot use any of the song-based powers below unless both your voice and your instrument are in working order.

Note 2: Nothing on the chart below functions when wearing any armor heavier than chainmail. Even stuff that should. On the other hand, stuff below that shouldn't work in chainmail totally does.

01-03  You get nothing.  No one said show business was easy.

04-09  You get generally better at fighting: +1 to-hit

10-25  You get +1 saves

26-27  +d4 hit points

28-35  If you are already a spell caster, gain a spell slot as normal.  If not, pick your new side gig of Wizard, Druid, or Illusionist and gain the abilities of a first level caster.  Every time you roll here after that, advance by one level in spellcasting ability.  New amateur wizards and illusionists should generate a starting spellbook using the normal rules.  How you happened across such a thing is up to you and the DM to decide, but you probably stole it.

36-43  If you are already a thief or otherwise get Thief Abilities (like monks and assassins do), then advance one level in your thiefly skills.  Otherwise, gain the skills of a 1st level thief and advance one level every time you roll this result again.

44-50  Work the crowd: By playing and singing for an hour or two you can gain d4gp worth of coins in a village, d6gp in a town, or d8gp in a city.  You must roll a Cha check to get the loot but if you get a 20 the crowd goes all angry mob on you.  Every time you roll this result you can increase the dice sizes, until it maxes out at d10/d12/d20.  Reroll this result after that.

51  Gain +1 Dex.  If you already have max Dex, gain +1 saves vs. anything that could possibly be dodged.

52-53  Cunning Linguist: gain knowledge of a language of your choice

54-55  Item Identification.  Once per session you can identify any magic item with an Int check.  Subsequent rolls grant additional attempts per session.

56-57 Countersong:  Once per session you can negate sonic effects and attacks with your own music.  You can do this for a number of rounds equal to your level plus your Con bonus (minimum 1).  Reroll if you get this result again.

58-59 Fencing prowess:  Gain proficiency with swords, scimitars, and shortswords if you did not already possess it.  Otherwise you are +1 AC when wielding such a sword and not surprised, flat-footed, or otherwise subject to sneak attack.  Gain +1 more AC for each reroll of this result.

60 Dancing fool: When affected by Otto’s Irresistible Dance, the poison of the tarentella spider, the music of korreds, etc., you will dance upon a missed save just like everyone else but you may act normally while doing so.

61-62  Sorcerous secret:  Gain a random standard first level MU spell as a daily power.  Unless you already cast MU spells, in which case roll from a list in some more obscure book of MU spells.  If you get this result again gain a 2nd level spell, then a third, etc.

63-64 “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”  Once per session you may give a rousing but nonsensical speech prior to the start of a combat.  All allies who can hear your oration gains +1 to-hit for the ensuing battle and NPCs gain +1 morale.  Reroll this result if it occurs again.

65-66  Impress the ladies/lads.  Once per session you can play a love song and make a Cha check to seduce a member of any sentient species, provided their orientation includes your gender.

67-68  Hard drinker.  Once per session you may down a skin/bottle of ale or wine in one turn to replenish d6 hit points.  If this is already a rule in your game, then increase to d12 hit points.  Each time this is rerolled you may down an additional skin/bottle, but the DM is allowed to invoke inebriation rules after the first such occurrence.

69-70  Druid secret: Gain a random standard first level Druid spell as a daily power.  Unless you already cast Druid spells, in which case roll from a list in some more obscure book of Druid spells.  If you get this result again gain a 2nd level spell, then a third, etc.

71  Pied piper: Once per session you can use your music to charm any group of identical monsters of less than one hit die, up to a number equal to your level plus Charisma bonus.  The monsters stay charmed for no more than three session or until you charm monsters of another species.

A bard if I ever saw one.

72-73   Illusionist Trickery: Gain a random standard first level Illusionist spell as a daily power.  Unless you already cast Illusionist spells, in which case roll from a list in some more obscure book of Illusionist spells.  If you get this result again gain a 2nd level spell, then a third, etc.

74-75  Gain +1 Charisma.  If you already have max Cha then gain a 1st level henchperson of a random class.

76-77  Magic instrument prowess.  When using a magic instrument not specifically for Bards it is generally 50% more effective in your hands.  Reroll if you get this result again.

78  The skin of your teeth.  The next time you die you mysteriously reappear somewhere safe d6 days later, bereft of all equipment and treasure save for one item of your choice.  Note that your undergarments count as an item.  You may do this exactly once.

79-80 Music soothes the savage beasts.  Before combat is joined you can spend a round to play a little ditty to placate any creature of animal or less intelligence.  If it fails a save versus spells it will not attack and insteads sits idly for d6 turns or withdraws (50/50 chances).  This effect is negated by attacking the monster, stealing its treasure, yelling at it, etc.  You may do this once per session.  Reroll if you get this result again.

81 Repairer of Reputations: Pick a person that you have been talking up in your original compositions.  They’re a little famous now.  Everyone in the local region is now +1 reactions with that person.  Yes, you can use this for yourself.

82-83 Place lore:  Once per session you can know something useful about a place relevant to the current adventure.  Reroll if you get this result again.

84-85 Dual wield:  You can make an extra melee attack with no penalty by wielding a dagger in your left hand.  (You gain dagger proficiency if you don’t already have it.)  However, you are a bit of a danger to your friends.  If you roll a natural 1 with the dagger attack you automatically stab the nearest friendly.  If no ally is within stabbing range, then you must throw the dagger at the nearest adventure buddy.  If they are out of range they’re safe, otherwise roll to-hit.  Reroll if you get this result again.

86-87 Noble lore: You know all the ins and outs of heraldry, family trees, royal gossip, etc.  Once per session and upon request the DM must supply you with a juicy tidbit that can help you in your present situation.  Reroll if you get this result again.

88  You may declare any magic item you find to be an Ancient Bardish Artifact.  This has no effects on the item or your ability to use it, but everyone else in the party must honor your claim to it unless they are willing to resort to violence.  You may do this exactly once.

89  You gain a random mutation.  Because fuck you that’s why.

90 El Kabong!  Once per session you may use your precious lute or whatever as a bludgeon.  This is so surprising that you get +2 to-hit, doing d6 damage and the foe must save versus paralyzation or be knocked out cold.  However, if you successfully hit then your instrument is shattered.

91-92 Riddle or fiddle:  The next time you are confronted by a monster but a fight hasn’t started yet, you can challenge them to either a song or riddle contest.  Negotiate the stakes and both sides roll d20, higher roll winning.  You have no mechanical advantage to the roll but the monster will automatically accept the challenge and abide by its results.  You may do this exactly once.

93  Ruiner of Reputations:  Pick someone you dislike.  Your latest original compositions have all contained digs at them.  They are now -1 reactions for everyone in the region, but there is a 1 in 6 chance they find out it is your fault.

94  Silver-tongued devil.  Once per session you may tell of lie of nearly any magnitude and a number of creatures equal to your level will believe it.  Reroll if you get this result again.

95  Use any item.  You can use any magic item for any class with a successful Int roll per usage. If you roll a 20 you experience some sort of mishap determined by the DM.

96  Lucky bastard: Once per session you can reroll any roll after you know the result.  The second roll applies whether it is a better result or not.

97  Admirer.  Gain a creepily devoted 0-level loser as a henchweenie.

98-99  Gambler: When resolving gambling attempts you always get the better of two rolls or the draw of an extra card or whatever.  You can take the best of a third draw/roll/whatever but there’s a 1 in 6 chance your cheating is detected.
100  Song of Making:  Bards know that the world was called into existence by means of a Great Song.  You know just enough of this primordial music to call into existence any nonliving object on your ruleset’s price lists, including things like a ship or a tower.  You can do this exactly once.

Insano-Libs Random Cleric Advancement

So here's an attempt to do random cleric advancement that tries to account for the vagaries of worshiping a variety of weirdo gods.  It's a step above the first random chart I made for clerics, and hopefully less time-consuming than writing a chart for each faith..  All first level clerics are the same as normal (hit dice, weapons, armor, saves, no spell, turn undead).  For each spell slot you would normally gain via leveling up, roll on the chart below.

Basically, you define each god using 20 parameters:
[1st level cleric spell] - You know how 3e clerics can burn spells to power healing? This is like that only you can choose a different spell that's more appropriate. You can ignore the "1st level" or "cleric" designations if you want to, but don't over do it.

[location] - A place where your god has slightly more power/your cleric has slightly stronger faith.

[Lesser Miracle] - Some miscellaneous power, roughly equal to a 1st or 2nd level cleric or MU spell. If it's weak, designate it 3x a day (or at-will if it is really puny), otherwise list it as a daily power.

[Greater Miracle] - These can be as powerful as you want, but if they are really potent set them at once per session or just one use period.

[weapon] - The weapon used by clerics of this faith. If you have no idea, just select mace.

[enemy] - a group, race, or species loathed by the faith

[basic lore] - something many clerics of this faith know. Like many clerics of the god of blacksmiths know how to make stuff out of iron.

[secret lore] - a more advanced knowledge, or something actually secret, maybe even something campaign world important

[ritual activity] - something that clerics can do that would take maybe a single dungeon turn that would look pointless or dumb to non-believers but imbues the cleric with a little extra holy power

[object] - something material that is holy to the faith but not an actual holy symbol (like the chalice used at a Mass)

[ally] - a group that has good relations with the clerics of the god

[class] - a non-cleric class somehow relevant to the god. If you're using the DDG, check what class besides cleric the god has the most levels in. That's probably what you want.

[servitor] - whatever fulfills the role of angels for this god

[color or symbol] - a thing that a cleric could see that would fill them with renewed zeal

[clothing] - some sort of holy garb

[animal] - literally what sort of pet the god could send to a cleric

[element] - the force, energy, or element by which the god can smite enemies

[food] - something the cleric can hand out to allies, like communion wafers or witch's brew

[taboo] - something the cleric can do to cheese off the god

[time] - a part of the day, week, month, or year sacred to your god

Two things to keep in mind when setting this stuff up for your gods: It would be easy to overdo this stuff. Try to keep in mind the relative power level of your deity, especially when setting the two Miracles. Also, try not to be too consistent when developing this profile. Religions often look like nonsense to the outsider. A little inconsistency actually makes a faith more plausible.

I made a Google Form for this process, which dumps the results into a spreadsheet. I already put a handful of gods there to serve as examples of what I have in mind. Please consider using these docs so everyone can have access to a collection of ready-made cleric options. And if anyone knows how to do a mail merge in GDocs, let me know so we can output individual charts for each god.

(BTW, the Great Cosmic Flailsnail is a newly declared god. Zak almost stumbled across Its existence back in 2011, but he didn't realize that the titanic polyhedron he was describing was the shell of a multiversal snail-entity.)

Anyway, here's the chart:

Insano-Libs Specialty Cleric Advancement

Start with a normal undead-turning, no-spell-at-first-level cleric.  All acolytes of all faiths operate exactly the same under this scheme (except for those badguy clerics who can Cause Light Wounds and Recruit Undead).  Advance hit points, to-hits, saves, and turn undead normally.  For each new spell slot you would normally gain, roll on the following chart instead.

01-05  You gain +1 to hit instead.

06-15  You gain +1 on all saves instead.

16-62  You gain a spell slot as normal.

63-64  Your ability to Turn Undead increases by one level.

65-67  You gain the ability to convert one memorized spell per day into [1st level cleric spell].   If you don’t have any spell slots yet then you gain that spell as a daily power.  If you roll this again, you can convert as many spells as you want into [1st level cleric spell] (or you gain 3 per day usages, if you still have no spell slots).  Reroll this result after that.

68  When standing at [location] you feel the power of your god flow through you.  Make a Wis check every time you cast a spell there.  If you succeed, you do not lose the memorized spell.  If you roll a “1” you channel too much divine energy and take 1d6 damage for each level of the spell.  Reroll if you get this result again.

69-71  You gain the ability to [Lesser Miracle].  Roll again if you get this result a second time.

72  You gain the ability to [Greater Miracle].  Roll again if you get this result a second time.

73-74  You get better at wielding a [weapon].  If you are not proficient with this weapon already, you gain proficiency with it.  Otherwise, you gain +1 to hit and +1 damage with that weapon each time you roll this result.

75-77 You can turn [enemy] once per day, using the nearest equivalent hit dice undead on the Turn chart.  If you get this result again, your ability to turn that kind of creature goes up to 3x per day.  On a third roll, you can make as many attempts to turn [enemy] as your level (min 3).  Reroll this result after that.  Note that this ability is always standard Turning Away, even if you are one of those badguy clerics who normally Recruit Undead.

78  Fanatical Followers: Any henchmen or hirelings you obtain who do not already have a strongly documented faith gain +2 morale from your contagious religious fervor.  Reroll if you get this result again.

79-80  You gain the knowledge of [basic lore].  The DM may require an Int roll to take advantage of this.  On a second roll of this result, you gain the knowledge of [secret lore].  Reroll if this comes up a third time.

81  No more than once per session (sometimes it may not be practical) you can perform [ritual activity] and immediately refill your empty spell slots.  Reroll if you get this result again.

82  When holding aloft a [object] dedicated to your god (which you can achieve with a simple bless spell), all attempts at turning are at +1 on the turn and number/hitdice turned rolls.  If you roll this a second time, the hallowed object also functions in your hands as a bludgeon against [enemy], magically +2 to-hit and doing 2d6 damage, but there is a 50% chance at the end of the combat that the object falls to pieces.  Roll again on the third or subsequent occurrence of this result.  

83  Declare a Crusade: Pick a single species of monster or other type of foe that really cheeses you off. You cannot select [ally], [class], or [servitor], though you can declare a crusade against a group that a minority of these might belong to.  All your party members are +1 to hit and damage against your declared foe so long as you are standing with them.  If you choose [enemy], the bonus becomes +2.  This works up to and including massive army scales.  You do not get the bonus.  If you get this again you must declare a new crusade against someone else.  The old bonus no longer applies.

84  The mere sight the mark of your god fills you with hope.  Once per session when you happen across [color or symbol] in the course of play (i.e. you can’t stage it), you can either regain a single used spell slot or heal yourself of 2d6 damage.

85  When wearing [clothing] you are +2 on all saving throws.  A second roll makes you +4 and a third +6.  Reroll after that.

86  You gain a pet [animal].  On a second roll of this result, you gain the ability to communicate with any [animal] as well as any monster similar to it.  On a third such roll you may attempt to charm any [animal] or any monster similar to it once per day.  Reroll after that.

87  Once per day you can channel the power of your god into a burst of pure [element].  It does 2d6 damage to one target, no to-hit roll needed, at a range of up to 60’.  For each memorized spell you burn, you can add 1d6 damage or add another target adjacent to the first.  Only those diametrically and cosmically opposed to your god are allowed a save for half damage.   Among mortals, only enemy cleric and (anti)paladin types normally qualify for a save.

88  Pilgrimage: The thing you seek, the MacGuffin or whatever, is located in the tomb of a saint nor more than 4 play sessions away.   You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why.

89 Holy Consumables.  You may begin each adventure with [food] imbued with the power of any first level cleric spell of your choice.  Whoever ingests it can use the power of the spell.  You have as many portions as your current level.  If you roll this again you may select a second level spell instead, etc.

90  You get +2 saves versus [element].  A second roll of this grants you the ability to take no damage when a successful save results in half.  A third roll make save-for-half situations into save-for-none/take half damage if the save fails.  Reroll fourth or subsequent occurrences of this result.

91  If you personally witness someone violating your faith’s taboo of [taboo], you are +2 to-hit them in melee and they are -2 to save against any spells you throw at them.  However, if you witness party members or other allies doing the same thing then your cure spells will no longer work on them.    Reroll if you get this result again.

92  Future Saint: The site of your death becomes holy to your faith.  No [enemy] may enter there and fellow adherents who rest here regain spells in half the usual time.  Oddly, this still applies if you are resurrected or raised (don't tell the pilgrims).  Reroll if you get this result again.

93 You gain a spell slot as usual AND a bonus slot of the level below it.  If you were rolling for a first level slot, you gain two first level slots.

94  Timing is everything.  When it is [time], your spells take effect as if you were 2 levels higher or you get +2 on dice (such as Cure Light Wounds).

95-96  You gain an acolyte (1st level cleric) as a free henchweenie.

97  You gain a spell slot one level higher than you were rolling for!  However, if you ever violate your faith’s taboo of [taboo], you lose that spell slot forever.

98 The next time you find a magic [weapon] or [object] of unspecified provenance you can declare it a minor relic of your faith.  Any cleric or adherent of your faith can use it, despite class or other restrictions.  Furthermore, roll once on a random potions chart.  In the hands of a cleric of your faith, it has that potion ability as a daily power.  Work out with your DM how bad potions like poison or delusion work to the benefit of the user.

99 Roll on the chart for the [class] class.  If that chart does not yet exist, roll on something similar (e.g. use the Thief chart if directed to a non-existent Assassin chart) OR roll on the Miscellaneous chart.

100  When you are really in the soup you can call on a [servitor] to help you.  It will perform one service on your behalf, subject to DM interpretation, or join in a single combat.  You can call on the creature but once.  Reroll if you get this result again and have not summoned the servitor.  (I.e. you can't bank more than one divine bail-out.)