Jeff salutes: Graham Staplehurst

I don't really know anything about Graham Staplehurst other than his credits: Robin Hood (the Rolemaster/HERO sourcebook), Angmar, Minis Tirith, Phantom of the Northern Marshes, Gates of Mordor, as well as White Dwarf articles stretching from #18 to #93, including all of these MERP articles:

Issue #64 - "The Dawn of Unlight: A MERP/AD&D Scenario in the Forest of Mirkwood"
Issue #73 - "Star Spray" - another MERP/AD&D dual stat
Issue #77 - "A Secret Wish: An Adventure for MERP and D&D"
Issue #79 - "Where and Back Again? Or, Starting a Middle-earth Campaign"
Issue #87 - "Taurëfantô" - also MERP, set in Mirkwood
Issue #89 - "On Ealden Byrgen" - actually a Robin Hood adventure
Issue #93 - "Letters From A Foreign Land: Multi-System Adventure for 3-5 PCs"  Purportedly statted up for WFRP, MERP and Call of Cthulhu!

Back in the day I got Robin Hood when it first came out.  I recall thinking it was pretty dang good, but without orcs and wizards I didn't see much reason to run it for my game group.  I think that's the big problem with medieval historical games in this hobby: they can feel like D&D Minus.  Still, Mr. Staplehurst did great work with the material.

I've got two of his White Dwarf adventures, "The Dawn of Unlight" and "Star Spray" and I think they are pretty excellent.  Each takes an incident in the Silmarillion and explores its ramifications in the age of Bilbo Baggins, giving a real epic turn to the PCs activities.  Another virtue of both is that they're short, maybe 3 or 4 pages each, but easily expandable into large arcs with suggestions how to do so.  And in "Star Spray" there's a side quest where you try to capture a live wooly mammoth for a circus.  How sweet is that?  The only thing that may annoy some is that there's a little bit of the Big Important NPCs The Players Are Supposed To Watch In Awe, but they all have stats so if the party really wants to backstab them they can.

Any other Graham Staplehurst fans out there?  How are his full-blown MERP modules?

Additional: While researching Mr. Staplehurst I came across a MERP article in White Dwarf written by someone else.  Martin Veart's "Up and Coming: A Look at Levels in Middle-Earth Role-Playing" in issue #80 sounds intriguing.  With MERP rating a typical orc warrior as level 3 to 5, I've always wanted to see an explanation for what a first level adventurer represents.  Are you a kid at first level?  I remember one MERP session where our entire party was routed by a single grumpy orc.

Jim Raggi is the craziest

I swear to Grodd, every time I hear of Jim Raggi's lastest scheme for his Lamentations of the Flame Princess publishing outfit I think to myself "dude's finally gone off his rocker".  A boxed set RPG in this day and age?  Publishing suicide.  Update Carcosa as a flashy hardbound?  Who needs a deluxe version of a niche little weirdo product like that?  Crowdsourcing a hardbound version of the LotFP main rulebook?  Who the hell is going to kick in on that?  (Me and several other people, it turns out.)

Hell, just starting a new game company is a pretty crazy ass thing to do, much less "Hey, I don't really speak the local language, but I think I'll start a publishing outfit in Finland anyway."  It's like he's always charging headfirst into some wall but instead of hitting it and crumpling, he leave's a Raggi-shaped hole as he smashes through.  He continues to give the one-finger salute to the haters who want him to fail.

Raggi's plan for the month of July is to crowdsource nineteen different modules from nineteen different authors with nineteen different artists assigned to the project and then shepherd to publication all the individual products that get funded.  Madness.  If anyone but Jim Raggi proposed it, I would say it was an impossibly stupid thing to try, but clearly the man has an established track record of making awesome things happen.

Below is a list of all the people involved, with links to their individual campaigns.  You can see how the funding is going for all the individual projects by checking out this page.

Escaping Leviathan by Aeron Alfrey

The Seclusium of Orphone by Vincent Baker (art by Cynthia Sheppard)

Strange and Sinister Shores by Johnathan Bingham

Towers Two by Dave Brockie

The Unbegotten Citadel by Monte Cook (art by Eric Lofgren)

The House of Bone and Amber by Kevin Crawford (art by Earl Geier)

Of Unknown Provenance by Michael Curtis (art by Amos Orion Sterns)

Machinations of the Space Princess by James Desborough (art by Satine Phoenix)

Horror Among Thieves by Kelvin Green

We Who Are Lost by Anna Kreider

The Land that Exuded Evil by Cynthia Celeste Miller (art by Rowena Aitken)

Pyre by Richard Pett (art by Michael Syrigos)

I Hate Myself for What I Must Do by Mike Pohjola (art by Joel Sammallahti)

Broodmother Sky Fortress by Jeff Rients (art by Stuart Robertson)

Normal for Norfolk by Juhani Seppälä (art by Rich Longmore)

Poor Blighters by Jeff and Joel Sparks (art by Mark Allen)

The Depths of Paranoia by Jennifer Steen (art by Jason Rainville)

Red in Beak and Claw by Jukka Särkijärvi (art by Jason Rainville)

The Dreaming Plague by Ville "Burger" Vuorela (art by Juha Makkonen)

There's a lot to take in here: Michael Curtis, author of Stonehell and The Dungeon Alphabet; Cynthia Celeste Miller, who will always have a place in my heart for writing d12-based RPG rules; Vincent Baker, of Dogs in the Vinyard and Poison'd fame but who I always think of as the guy who wrote kill puppies for satan; James Desborough, who featured heavily in the latest internet ragefest I got sucked into on Google+; Mike Pohjola, author of the Turku Manifesto; and Dave frickin' Brockie, a.k.a. Oderus Urungus of GWAR!  Hot damn!

And I'm on this list, too, with cool guy Stuart Robertson suckered into doing art for my project.  My module is called Broodmother Sky Fortress.  Titles for projects are not my strong suit (hence Jeff's Gameblog, one of the least interesting titles ever), so I have to give Mr. Raggi credit for helping me tighten up the name of the adventure.  I would have gone with an X of the Y Z sort of arrangement.  He suggested that was played out and that of all the possible title ideas I pitched him the words Broodmother and Sky Fortress were the strongest.  Here's the elevator pitch for the adventure:

You know what your crapsack campaign world needs? Giants made out of sharks and elephants, lurking in a haunted house in the clouds, ready to jump out of cyclopean shadows and murder your PCs right in their stupid faces.

So over the course of the next couple weeks I'll be talking about the basic concept behind Broodmother Sky Fortress, what I'm trying to accomplish, some old modules that got me thinking along those lines and why Stuart Robertson is a kickass choice for the illustrator this adventure.  I'm told video clips make for better crowdfunding campaigns, so expect a few videoblog entries.

In the meantime, if you are already onboard with Broodmother Sky Fortress, please go pledge.

a couple of scans

Up first is a page typed up by my buddy Dave back in the 80's. We got into MERP for a while and he put all the Experience Points charts together. In MERP you get XP for just about anything interesting you do: crits to baddies, travelling overland, casting spells, maneuver rolls, killing monsters, even having a good idea.

The blank space in the bottom left has some mostly-erased chicken scratched totalling XPs for Tom, Chris, Eric and Colin.  That's all the regulars in my high school game group except Dave and me.  I think the handwriting is mine, so these numbers probably go back to my run of the starter modules in the back of the MERP rulebook or Bree and the Barrow Downs.  Chris ran some sort of warrior who was always scoping out poisons to put on his spear and Eric had an elf tricked out with max Dex, max bow skill, a crossbow and a single mithril-tipped bolt.  Their master plan invariable involved ambushing the monsters, Eric shooting the most dangerous-looking foe and then Chris poisoning the rest of them.  That campaign only ran maybe 4 to 6 sessions, but it was a lot of fun.  The players soured on the game after running into an enemy sorcerer who knew both Spell Store and Fire Ball.  The result was the entire party taking a C heat critical.

The gang murmured about switching games, so like a bastich I ran Call of Cthulhu next.  That actually went well until Chris's big game hunter used a Yuggothian freeze ray on the warp core of Tsathoggua's spaceship.  Dave's professor was the only one to escape the ensuing explosion.  He got away by throwing himself in a river, but then drowned in the rapids.  Good times.

Next up is a page from Steve Jackson's Fantasy Gamer, issue #3 (1984).  I don't have a story here, I just thought folks would dig a one-page character class that focuses on strangling people.

Sudrai, City of Ten Thousand Wonders, part 1

The most important think you need to know about Sudrai (called Sudraal in some records, and referred to by local farmers as Sudderly) is that while this sprawling city is fixed in time and space like any normal place, its harbor is not.  On any given day most of the ships along the docks of Sudrai are perfectly ordinary medieval merchant cogs and fishing boats, but scattered among them will be a handful of vessels from other times and places.  For example, some of the most exalted families of the city trace their lineages to refugees from the destruction of Atlantis and the sinking of Lyonesse, but ships from those lost civilizations make regular visits to Sudrai.  In the spring the swan ships of the Sidhe will often glide into port, the eldritch barges of Melniboné have been known to trade at Sudrai (often en route to even more enigmatic destinations), and, on certain nights when the moon is full, silent galleys manned by turbanned satyrs will drift down out of the sky.

How this happens is a great mystery, but the why of it is well-established: mithril.  All other known mithril mines are controlled by tight-fisted dwarves who keep all of it locked away in underground treasuries or deep-time elves who think nothing of spending a millennia or two properly smelting it to absolute purity.  The tiny trickle of mithril coming out of Sudrai's mines represents the only known source of the stuff available to the highest bidder.  Thus goods and gold from all over the multiverse pour into Sudrai, creating a glittering metroplis in the middle of what is otherwise an unremarkable island in a crapsack corner of a dung-ridden medieval world.  Peasant farmers living within spitting distance of the walls of Sudrai suffer the same miserable existence as they do everywhere else.  The citizens of Sudrai explain this is because the magic of the harbor extends only so far, but probably they're just selfish bastards who keep all the loot for themselves.

If you hate Rust Monsters and Disenchanters...

...then you'll probably hate this monster too.

Its wordless wail will haunt your nightmares.

Invisible Monster a.k.a. Isaiah's Folly
Hit Dice: 8 
Armor Class: 0 [20] but 4 [16] if visible
# Attacks: 1 baleful eye (30' range)
Damage: d12
Move: 90', ignoring/blasting through many obstacles 
Morale: 10
Save As: F4


This blobby sci-fi creep wanders around, blasting holes in stuff and sucking the energy out of technological devices.  And like a big jerk he does it all while completely invisible.  Rayguns and flashlights and similar small devices take but a single round of his horrid glance to be completely drained.  If they are being held or worn by a character a save versus Death Ray is allowed, but at -4 due to the creature's invisibility.  Larger power sources like big 70's sci-fi computers or giant robots will take d6 rounds to de-power.


The baleful eye power of Isaiah's Folly cannot punch through stone of greater than 1' thickness and the creature probably can't cross water more than a couple feet deep.  Other than those limitations, it is an unstoppable juggernaut of energy-hunger.  In some campaigns this creature might be considered a native of the Negative Energy Plane, which might mean something.  Maybe it can be turned?  Hell if I know.


If you do not recognize the accompanying illo then I charge you with the mission of tracking down a copy of the Jonny Quest  episode "The Invisible Monster".  It is seriously one of the coolest cartoons ever made.


This monster is dedicated to all the FLAILSNAILS referees who had to put up with Philip the Bloody stinking up their campaign with the phaser he found in the Dungeons of Dundagel.

Wizardly Wednesday

...then there was this time that SpongeBob turned into a Rock n Roll Wizard

and saved Bikini Bottom by singing a song about 'goofy goobers', set to

the tune of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock".

55 Small Ads

Back in the day,"Small Ads" was the classifieds section of White Dwarf magazine.  This was back when WD was a general gaming mag.  I don't know if they still put classifieds in the all-GW version nowadays.  The Small Ads ranged from zines and modules from garage outfits, players looking for players (include quite a few painfully obvious 'looking for a D&D girlfriend' ads), clubs announcing meeting times, people looking to buy, sell or swap game crap and help wanted ads for game companies.  A minority of the Small Ads were written in-character, including a few that were obviously campaign communiques from one character to another.

I've lightly edited the 55 most interesting in-character ads and listed them below.  Perhaps the PCs in your campaign could find some of these items posted on the wall of a tavern.  Some will need a little editing, as I left in a few place-names and an occasional mention of a ruleset.  And dates or contact info will need to be added to make some of these work.

1. Celldorin the Great and Highly Unstable would like to announce that Phedia the Red is a fraud and not worthy to be a barbarian.
2. Magic-User seeks halfling to experiment on, also fellow adventurers in the Irvine/Ayr area.
3. Helva. Warning, reversal of forthcoming union with mouse = danger.
4. Loki's daughter and a valet without hindrance; together they will prove your equal.
5. The Kulgarian Empire wishes to open trade relations with the peoples of the galaxy.
6. Meaty Bovril seeks fun but intelligent party in Fareham area.
7. Ashmire the Terrible, King of Thieves is slain. The Underworld Guild is finished. Victory to Ronin Stormhammer, Barbarian Lord of Gulgaros.
8. Felin Khuzkill can nobble the fool elf any day. Omar better watch his back as well.
9. Zinnlead the Assassin for hire to AD&D, RQ, Traveller or any other worlds.
10. Rogue seeks other rogues (females?) in Ipswich area.
11. Grendel is finally and completely dead. RIP. Celebrations start next month. Bad luck Mark.
12. Help! Old Alchemist with experience in both Traveller and D&D living in isolated hollow without transport.
13. Frantic addict begs to be attacked by adventurers following involuntary exile.
14. Under-Achieving Dwarf seeks opportunity for advancement
15. The Great Weapontake of Barad-Dur - Small parties of six requested to take part.
16. Help - Phoenix II is wandering helplessly through Av-Kodar, and experienced help gratefully received.  Only just heard of Glovers resurrection.
17. Wanted - Female barbarian needed to help kill things in various West London dungeons!  Own cave and magic sword to talk to.  Apply Tolvar Halflip.
18. Emigrants from Wessex seek new roles.
19. Glastor the Bloody needs help - This noble paladin calls for any adventurers in the St. Albans area.
20. Applicants for God Empress of the World now being accepted.  Also needed -- Generals, Mercenary Captains and Orc Warlords.
21. Recruits Wanted - The Blue Regiments are looking for recruits anywhere in the country.
22. Overworked druid seeks adventurers in the Nuneaton area.
23. Serak the ex-illusionist has defected.
24. Honesty, a female halfling thief recently transported to Orton, seeks dungeon adventurers in Ptersborough area.
25. Help! Small mercenary company needs more recruits and someone to fight for!
26. Recuits Wanted! Lord Capell's Regiment. Pikemen, Dragoons, Musketeers and Camp Followers are required.
27. Crasimoff's get rich quick scheme!  Would you like to take part in the sacking of a town?  A castle?  Want to get rich quick?  Send details of your party (size, spells, position, etc.) to Morlock's Marauders.
28. Magic-User requires other participants who would like to form a group.
29. Azaqual, Lord of Belegost, skilled engineer/miner, has retired at last to design any complex wanted.
30. Dragons on the Hill near New Cross Road.
31. Wanted: Spells. Rooneo Redno has a complete set of magic-user and illusionist spells.  She now wants to get hold of all the new spells out and about.
32. Dragon For Sale - serious offers only
33. Experienced giant killer seeks adventurers
34. Help!  Grom the nimble and young gnome illusionist/thief seeks adventurers
35. Whoops!  Small group misuses Amulet of Planar Travel and loses itself on the Elemental Plane of Air.  New ideas and personnel required urgently to bring them down on earth.
36. Elven magic-user and monk looking for fellow adventurers to help destroy evil in Kilmarnock area.
37. Sons of Sammy Hughes - Hail Na-Stobe and Karleck - Nia Gib laughs at you in his temple whilst time accelerates. Bring your water boots. Emain Brule.
38. Hail Mantas... The Overlord awaits you in the Citadel of Death. Load up your bolt pistol and fly to victory. Seek knowledge from the Master Valkyrie. Heed my call. Macross.
39. Lord Cashtack (leader of men) requires dwarves to torment. Massacres and tortures a speciality.
40. Challenge! Ogawa Yatsuburo, a great silver petal bushi of Iajima Province and son of O Yoshimura, scourge of mongol fiends, desires revenge upon the micreant inhabitants of the barbarian ronin's mansion.
41. Help! Desperate group of plunderers seek new comrades in Berkhamstead area.  Ezrad's a maladjusted psycho, Mahni's missing an arm and an eye, great company!
42. Challenge! - We Immortals challenge all adversaries to a tournament.  Battle against Grendel, Thor, bane of all things nasty, Obsidian Dragon Slayer and Thorongil the Necromancer.
43. Greetings, noble lords and ladies. Newly ordained cleric seeks gallant allies to defeat vile monsters, to strive for right, and possibly, to start a group in Croydon.
44. Mystic Crystal - Thought they sought to bind me with incantations most foul and magics whose roots rest in the black bowels of hell, they could not hope to prevail.  For I, Basalneep the Mysterious, did possess a tome of wondrous wisdom, Mystic Crystal.
45. Royal Decree.  Duke Amorcaller of Porxan declares that it is time for a festival.
46. Can anyone help a lonely Lord and Rune Priest exterminate the local hordes of evil?
47. A quiet spell in life. Are there any older sorcerers out there looking for an apprentice?
48. Announcement! Valian, watch Rodnar, it is in the near future. Be on your guard in the Seven Heavens! You too, you members of the Black Chasm!
49. Obituary. In memorium of Randulf Scutter, beloved of the Glericion family, who dies tragically at the hands of thieves whilst in the service of Vardis Glericion, Knight of the Holy Crusade. He will be greatly missed.
50. Announcement!  Thador (the Blue) Clearsoul would like to publicly announce that Koran Skullsmasher's mother was a half-bred orc with a limp and an embarrassing birthmark which I (due to a payoff to a dubious assassin) know that she has passed down.
51. Thoggin Slytongue hereby declares two deaths, one regretfully and t'other long overdue. Celrond Goblinsbane, fellow adventurer, assassinated by the Scarlet Brotherhood, and that pig Aranen Silverleaf, killed by mine own gnomish hands. Rot in Hell, Arabonc.
52. Belated Anniversary Greetings Congratulations Ranorah and Berni on your first wedding anniversary. All the gang wish you many more. Remember Wersi and the black gem?  Have you tired of the quiet life? Join us next month. Tarsha, Gollum and Tymore.
53. Sorry!  The Rheinrhelm Travellers humbly apologize for the accidental annihilation of the City of Greyhawk in CY578 during dragon training. We console them with the knowledge that the twelve dragons involved passed all their tests.
54. Hail Worthy Paladins, Honourable Cavaliers If though be in dire need of a goodly companion, why not scribe to Tancred the Templar?
55. Loegre.  Caliburn King of Arms is commanded to announce Dundalin Tournament, Chivalry please attend. Sir Donaud le Dense, bring your varlets.

Pretty cool, huh?  There's scads of adventure hooks and NPC concepts in these tiny items.

Finally, here's a scan of my favorite gaming club listing, with the contact info clipped.

I may have to use the Church of Yurinn in a campaign sometime.