Friday, July 12, 2019

Lost Tombs update

No game last weekend or this coming weekend, as I am travelling the highways and byways of America with my family.  I might be able to schedule a weekday session or two next week, though.  In the meantime, here's some more stuff from the previous nail-biting session.  First we have a full-color illo of Giuliano Pereira's character Coco the Cat Warrior:
This lovely pic is by Sam Mameli, who, in addition to being a great artist with a distinctive style, is also an all-around cool guy.  Need someone to illustrate your next big project?  Consider Sam.  Or at least check out his redbubble store.

Additionally, we have a report on the session by Maxim Golubchik's PC Edwin Cool:

Sup my hip cats. Y’all might be wondering what a fly guy like I is doing, standing on this street corner all covered in blood. Well wonder not my man! Before you stands Edwin Kool, the last man standing of the cult of Prynock-Drop-Kicks-Damrak. Here’s the skinny.

My and my gang worship Prynock - god of music, death, shepherds, and shepherds playing death metal. We heard through the grapevine that wererats had gotten their hands on the holy relics of the rocking god. Rats where? In the lost tombs! So I got the gang together and we went to the forest. Joining us was Little Albert, mageling in training, and a truly cool cat called Coco. That kitty worships a little thing called the Red Star. Not our god, but hey, why can’t we be friends? As long you’re not down with that devil Damrak you’re alright us.

Now we’d never seen this tomb before, but for Coco this was journey 2: electric boogaloo. That cat was clad in plate and armed with maps! He busted some doors down, but the locals weren’t down with unsolicited calls - they left a crossbow trap to make the point clear. We were at the wrong time in the right place, so Stinky Pete got a bolt to the face. Dude died with a grin - whadda way to go! 

Next room in we found the culprits - two tall ass yetis with pointy heads. But PDKD makes love, not war. Cause war, what is it good for? So I shouted “Stop, in the naaaaame of Prynock! Before you breeaaake our ribs!” Turns out the dudes were into breaking ribs. Sometimes it be like that. 

Well PKDK ain’t no strangers to death. We like it like that! Real quick six of ours and both of theirs all got to jam out with Prynock in the great beyond. Little A took a yeti leg, and we suggested grabbing that soft yeti fur - not like the yetis we’re using it anymore. Coco said no - we should come back for it later. I said man, that’s not how dungeons work. Nobody leaves all calm like, you’re always running away while screaming, but Coco wouldn’t budge.

After the argument we took a look around. Turns out the room was all torn apart by a giant crack, and if there’s one thing the gang is all about it’s crack. So the lot of us tied some ropes and got down on it. Halfway through what do we find? Rat tunnels! When you need him in a pinch your man Prynock comes through! 

My man Lump Bizkit took point, crawling with a torch in his mouth. First thing he found was a room full of bats - that freaked him out so bad dude shit his pants. And a few rooms later, when we met some eye guys upstairs? He got so freaked out he threw his shit at them! But Little A cast a charm person on the big man and that calmed everybody down. Coco offered to share a meal with our new friends - chowing down over centipede soup and yeti leg ain’t gonna hurt nobody.

So these guys had set up a jumpin’ little pad in the middle of the tomb. Since their entire heads were one giant eye they talked to each other by honking little clown horns! We didn’t know the honk code so we wrote messages instead. Turns out these clowns work for a guy named Space Bat Omega! Now that sounded like my kinda jam - space is the place! So the eye guys offered to introduce us.

Everybody did the hustle down a secret passage, where our friends gave a secret knock. And the inside of that pad was even nicer than the last - those eye guys have some real flair. Sweet tapestries everywhere, and in the middle were 24 sarcophagi, each with a letter. The last one opened up and out came a man-bat thing with big freaky bug eyes. The eye guys honked at him and he says sure, the new meat can join the cult. His voice was so foul I could feel my spine sliding strait out of my bum!

Well with everyone awful jittery, Coco freaked out. Shone that crazy red light of his straight into SBO’s eyes! Soon enough everybody was kung-fu fighting. Eye guys were stabbing, the gang were smacking, I messed up a turn undead, it was chaos. Little A found the door was stuck shut right before an eye guy stabbed his guts. Rock out Little A; Prynock’s got a place for you.

Coco finally wrestled that door open and we made a break for it. What did I say? Coco and I left that place running and screaming. When I finally turned around I found it was just the two of us - all my friends were dead.

So that’s my story. And by Prynock my friends, this will not stand. PDKD will have its revenge! So that’s why I’m here, talking to y’all in my time of need. I’ve got other cultists friends, but the lot of us are broke. Any spare GP helps guys, and when I go up their to meet Prynock I’ll put in a good word. Just as soon as we got some cash PDKD is coming back. Those space bats haven't seen the last of Edwin Kool and his gang!

The irrepressible Edwin


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