Vaults of Vyzor, session 16

Roster

Dundermachen, dwarf (Jeff Call)
Chipping Ongar of Toot Hill, halfling Alice (Peter C)
Ilse Raagenkampf, LotFP specialist (Perttu Vedenoja)
Chuckles the Crypt Cockerel (pet)
Dale the Valet, loyal manservant (NPC)
Laurantha the Unbeautiful, haughty elf (Cullen)
Diagast Ratnight, Cleric of Matnall (Jay Murphy)

The party entered the dungeons via the Citrine Hall.  They discovered that the first room of level 1 has been turned into a trash dump by the orcs.  After carefully picking their way across garbage, they proceeded north to the orc temple.  Their they murdered a couple orc fanatics and stole a wooden idol of Orcagorgon.  They then moved to the orc rec room and used a sleep spell on some orcish bodybuilders.  Too bad.  I really wanted to batter some PC with an orc wielding a medicine ball.

Before taking the secret stairs down to the second level, the party took a quick side jaunt to the orc pantry.  They had acquired five vials of some toxin from the Poison Miser, an NPC I've been meaning to write up here.  According to the old man, one drop in a meal will kill a man, one vial in the soup will eliminate a whole family.  They put all five vials in various perishables in the pantry, but there's no info yet as to how well this dastardly attempted orcicide worked.

The party discovered a prison area on the second level of the Citrine Vault, where they eventually freed an NPC adventurer named Hughbert the Bold.  He was part of the NPC party that Dundermachen once belonged to, before a wandering black pudding split the party.  Hugh is elated to see his good ol' buddy Dundermachen, but the dwarf remembers Hugh as a giant douchebag, so the reception is a little cool.  I'm adding Hugh to the hireling chart (original version here).

But before they could release d-bag Hugh, the party had to fight the jailors: morloi berserkers.  An orc once told a PC that a morloi is to a xvart as a hobgoblin is to a goblin.  They're man-sized, blue-skinned, and real fuckers.  For no obvious reason, morloi berserkers all cosplay as the Joker or Harley Quinn.  

Ilsa made some smart use of caltrops to slow the charge of the berserkers.  Gygast attempted a hold person on one of them, but I rolled an 18 to save.  Chuckles the Rooster was probably the MVP of the fight, pecking out a Harley's eyes.  I rolled crap to-hit's for the baddies in this encounter.  The biggest danger to the party was Dundermachen fumbling and axing Ilsa.

Hugh may be a dick, but he was able to direct the party to a nearby stairs down to the third level of the Citrine Vault.  There the party murdered a couple of non-Joker/non-Harley morloi acolytes who were minding their own business, praying to the Mother of Chaos.  The sounds of the murder were overheard by a nearby morloi monk sporting the colors of the Red Dragon Fighting Society, who attacked the party by leaping among them and getting all chop socky.  The party gasps as he strikes Dale the Valet to the ground.  Dale is on loan from Barnabus Sleet, Muscle Wizard.  But it turns out Dale was only knocked out.

The party overcomes the blue kung fu guy and, in exchange for his life, he agrees to take them to the

House of Scorpions, the local Red Dragon dojo.  They have to fight a band of five morloi clerics, one of whom has a sweet Snake Staff, but the party uses the Lightning Ring also on loan from Barnabus to take them out.

This is where the party gets really lucky.  They have to pass through the main chamber of the morloi temple to get to the House of Scorpions.  But my die roll for the activity level indicates that no one is home at the moment.  So with just a minute or two left in the session, several PCs drop a thousand gold pieces each for their introductory kung fu lesson and Red Dragon Fighting Society patch.  And then Laurantha gets sloppy drunk carousing and tells everybody about the whole dang adventure, showing everyone she meets her sweet karate club patch.

ONGOING ROLL OF THE DEAD

Bufo the Wizard (Makali’i F), Beefo the Gerblin Drinking Buddy (NPC), Willy Whats-His-Name (0-level Loser), Poor Brother Rupert (cleric hireling), unnamed serving boy (0-level hireling), Gwalin Rustbritches (dwarf hireling), Jarrod the Magic-User (Ian Reilly), Jonesy (0-level NPC), Little Liam Linkboy (0-level NPC), Limpy the Naileteer (Jeff Call), Engsal the Enchanter (Alex Joneth), Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call)., Littlens (0-level NPC), Biggens (0-level NPC), Stimpy (0-level NPC), Ren (0-level NPC)

AZURE TOWER GUEST LIST

Big Gnome (Luke Rejec), Szazsraz the Wizard Lizard (Chris Wilson), Rose Royce (Kiel Chenier), Sneakerly Trull (Zak S.), Ilse Raagenkampf (Perttu Vedenoja), Persimion Finch (Galen Fogarty), Magic Meryl (Nick Kuntz), Merrill Meadows (Michael Julius), Chef (Richie Cyngler)