Jeff's Incomplete Guide to the new Retro Stupid

In case you haven't heard, we live in a new golden age of old-fashioned orc-mugging and tomb-robbing. There are now, in print, more good options for dungeoning and dragoning than we've seen since the eighties. For reals. As self-appointed guardian of face-rocking hack-n-slashery, I have decided to provide an easy-to-use overview of the field as it stands today. You're welcome.

Basic Fantasy

The Basic Deal: Basic/Expert D&D tweaked for an AD&D audience.
Where You Can Get It: The rulebook is a free download at the publisher's website or you can get a print rulebook at lulu.
Why pick this one? Perfect for the AD&D player who appreciates the simplicity of Basic D&D, but dislikes some of the stupider parts of the Basic game. Race and class are split, as per AD&D, no funky elf class. And clerics get a spell at first level.

Labyrinth Lord

The Basic Deal: Pretty much a clone of the Moldvay/Cook Basic/Expert rules.
Where You Can Get It: Free download here or print edition at lulu.
Why pick this one? The 1981 Basic/Expert set is pretty much the perfect iteration of D&D. Seriously, I was just discussing on an old school forum that these rules are so good that they discourage homebrewing and tinkering. Labyrinth Lord takes those two books and seemlessly integrates them into a single text, arguably making this game the Best RPG Ever Written.

OSRIC

The Basic Deal: An Open Game License version of 1st edition AD&D.
Where You Can Get It: Free download at the official webpage.
Why pick this one? If 1st ed. AD&D is your thing, but you don't own the books, OSRIC is a supercheap way to get back into the game. Or if you still dream of publishing a 1st edition module, here's the OGL way to get it done. Does your game group think playing out-of-print games is retarded? Go to Kinko's, get a hardcopy of this printed out, and then beat them with it.

Microlite20

The Basic Deal: The World's Easiest D20 Fantasy System.
Where You Can Get It: The official homepage.
Why pick this one? If you got a smaller rulebook you'd need a magnifying glass to play. The rules will fit in your wallet! Next time one of the indie fans in your group starts nattering on about rules-light gaming pull this puppy out. And you won't cry when you spill soda on your copy, 'cause the little sucker is just one sheet of paper.

Castles & Crusades

The Basic Deal: The love child of 1st edition AD&D and the new d20 stuff.
Where You Can Get It: Your local FLGS or favorite online store or direct from the publisher.
Why pick this one? If you miss most of the fiddly bits of 1st edition chargen but also like the clean resolution mechanics of more modern games, then this might be the right choice. Well-supported with modules, too.

HackMaster

The Basic Deal: AD&D, only more so. More dice charts, more violence, more ridiculousness.
Where You Can Get It: This ones a little trickier, as the print runs on the core books are drying up. You may need to do some online hunting to get everything you need. I'm still putting together my set. Amazon has a bunch of this stuff, so I'd recommend starting there.
Why pick this one? This is the first game I've seen since RoleMaster that takes AD&D's formula of crunchy violence and makes something even better with it. If you've ever been deep into either edition of AD&D and thought "Man, this isn't hardcore enough" then, bing!, you just found your new favorite system.

Encounter Critical

The Basic Deal: You remember that chapter in the DMG that gave the rules for combining AD&D and Gamma World? This game is like that, only sexier.
Where You Can Get It: Click this link now. Enlightenment will follow.
Why pick this one? Of all the Retro Stupid games out there, this one is the retro stupidest. In all seriousness, if you are a regular Gameblog reader, do yourself a favor: Get the free PDF version of the rules and sit down somewhere and read them. Do not skim. You'll miss much of the awesome.

Mazes & Minotaurs

The Basic Deal: What if Gygax and Arneson liked Jason and the Argonauts type movies more than The Lord of the Rings?
Where You Can Get It: Free downloads here.
Why pick this one? If you dig the old school dungeon scene but want a change of pace from medieval times, this is your huckleberry. And the mechanics are super-tight. Also, you can pitch the game to newbies as "like Xena".

Advanced Holmes

The Basic Deal: One man's house rules that elegantly expand the original basic set.
Where You Can Get It: Direct link. You'll also need a 'blue book' Basic D&D (pictured left).
Why pick this one? In four pages the author manages to capture the essence of the Advanced experience without a lot of the cruft. I'm going to go ahead and write the inexplicable words Rules-Light AD&D.

Why not just play the old stuff?

An excellent question! If you're already rocking an older game, please don't stop on my account. I just wanted to bring together all the various links I had to some of the crazy new stuff that supports dungeoncrawling.

"Flying will continue this evening as usual"

Last night my game group gave In Harm's Way: Aces in Spades a test fly. This is Clash Bowley's rpg of World War I flying aces. As a GM I generally stumble my way through any game that doesn't involve dungeoning dragons, but I had a good time anyway. The PCs consisted of three freshly minted 2nd Lieutenants in the Royal Flying Corps. MacGregor was a hard-drinking Scotsman, a temperamental artistic type with a bit of a deathwish. Parker was a charming rogue, the kind of fellow you'd buy a drink for and never notice that he failed to return the favor. And Doug played the snotty Prince of Wales. He had spent the maximum number of the points on his dude's social class stat, so why not?

The new lads of Squadron 90 were quickly introduced into a situation involving a captured British aviator. The commander of a nearby German squadron held Lt. Fosdick. He was willing to swap Fosdick (who was eating Jasta 62 out of house and home) for a German pilot currently staying as a guest of the French squadron that shares hangers and airfield with the PC's unit. We never quite completed the scenario. I was looking forward to the part where the British PCs help a German prisoner escape from a French unit.

One of the best roleplaying moments of the night occurred in the officer's club shared by the French and British fliers. Here the PCs found out that the local French squadron had a betting pool on how long it would be before all three new British pilots were dead. Fifteen days was the most anyone gave the group. One drunken French pilot tried to convince Parker that if he could hold out 12 days they could split the winnings. MacGregor, being a moody son of a bitch, put money on himself only lasting one day, with instructions to buy drinks with the winnings.

We spent a good portion of the night involved in an airfight between the PCs in their SE5's and some passing Albatross D III's. The PC's squadron was enroute to drop a reply note to Jasta 62's proposed prisoner exchange when a flight from another German unit spotted them and dived to intercept. MacGregor and Parker got shot up a bit for their troubles, but the PCs each managed to score a kill. My Albatross's kept stalling out during tricky maneuvering. That did not help the Germans at all.

Earlier in the evening we had randomly rolled the conditions of the airfield using the chart provided, resulting in a bumpy patch that increases the chance of a crash by 15%. MacGregor's damaged plane was not up to the task pf coming down in one piece, requiring Pat to roll on the crash results chart. He got the worst possible result, destroying the plane and automatically killing MacGregor. That evening drinks were on him.

We had originally planned two maybe three sessions of World War One flying aces, but at the end of the night we agreed that the session ended too beautifully. You don't mess with a perfect moment like that.

Any readers in Chi-town?

Gameblog reader Jesse is looking for adult, non-Catpissy gamers on the North Side of Chicago. He likes HackMaster and D&D. Jesse hasn't played the new editions of D&D but he's willing to give it a try. He also does boardgames and such and is particularly fond of Illuminati, which is also a favorite of mine. Man, I haven't played Illuminati in a long effin' time. Anyhoo, if you think you could maybe play a game with Jesse, shoot me an email (as always, I'm at jrients at the gmail to the dot com) and I'll put you and he in contact with each other.

I made this...

...but I'm not sure why.

also, five links

Kellri on how to best experience weird fantasy in D&D

Five Room Dungeons

The Hall of Badassitude

LibraryThing

The Expedition into the Black Reservoir

The vegetable bowls the assembled adjective.

Here's a fun and easy meme-thing from my pal Intruder_W:

1. Get a randomly generated sentence from here.
2. Copy and paste the sentence into the "title" field here.
3. You made an art! Post it to your liveblogjournal doo-hickey and please leave a link in the comments section.

The coolest thing Ray ever did

One of the guys I used to game with was a feller named Ray St. John. I don't always give out full names when I tell old stories, but I mention his full moniker in case any Gameblog readers out west way may know him. I lost track of him after he moved back to his native Washington state to take a job in the aeronautics industry. Tell Ray to send me an email, if you know him. As always, I'm at the jrients to the gmail at the dot com.

Ray was an old time D&D player, getting his start in the Air Force back in the days when D&D was this strange new kind of wargame. But all his years of play experience and general life experience didn't always show through, because he came off as a bit of a lovable goof. He tended to act first and think second when playing and sometimes in social situations as well. As a DM I found that he made an excellent foil to thorough planners and SWAT team dungeoneers. I could count on him to keep things interesting.

Ray was one of the longest running players in my old campaign set in the Bandit Kingdoms, a nasty little corner of the World of Greyhawk. The PCs in that group tended towards the chaotic and evil sectors of the alignment chart. The most socially astute PC in the setting was Doctor (later Baron) Phostarius, a chaotic neutral bard/mage with a penchant for necromancy. Ray played Doc's half-drow half-brother, the evil mercenary captain/cavalier Sir Cleave, the Count of Bronze.

One time I had a gandalf/elminster type (who was really a grey slaad in disguise) send the brothers in search of the Cauldron of Chaos, which was being held by the forces of Niceness in the an invisible double pyramid (stacked base-to-base like a d8) made out of solidified Elemental Air. It served as home to a wide array of Lawful Good monsters. I can't remember the whole cast of the affair, but I recall Corporal Angry and his Hooting Commandos, a group of halfings in WWII togs, and King Artie and his Knights of the Card Table, some chump paladins who drank cheap beer and played a lot of penny ante poker while talking about maybe going out and slaying some badguys.

I set up as one of the meanest fights in the place a bigass Silver Dragon. This is where things got awesome. Ray, out of the friggin' blue, decides to parlay with the dragon. This caught me off guard, as usually this group's idea of NPC negotiations normally consisted of declaring "Everyone still alive is my prisoner" after lobbing some fireballs. Instead, Sir Cleave challenges the dragon to a contest.

Cleave takes from his pack 4 crystal wine glasses and 5 large tankards. He fills the glasses with wine and the tankards with ale. I, for one, am surprised to discover that Ray has anything on his equipment list that isn't a weapon, armor, or a healing potion. Ray proposes a drinking contest. If he can finish off the large tankards of ale before the dragon drinks the wine, the party must be allowed to pass freely.

I suggest to Ray that a small enough dose of poison to fit in the wine glass and pass undetected will do little to a huge dragon. Ray assures me that the wine is unpoisoned. The dragon asserts that only Sir Cleave will be allowed to participate in the contest. Ray states "The conditions of the contest are that only I may touch the tankards and only you may touches the glasses. Anything else results in a forfeit. Agreed?" The dragon consents and the contest begins.

Where Ray was heading with this, I honestly did not know. I narrated that the dragon started quickly downing a couple of wines like shots as Sir Cleave quaffed his first tankard. Ray asks if he has finished his first tankard before the dragon's last glass of wine. "Sure," I say, "the dragon is reaching for his third glass of wine as you finish guzzling your first mug of ale." Ray smiles that smile that players only smile when they've got the DM right where they want him.

"I turn my tankard upside down and place it over the last glass of wine."

On the spot like that, I couldn't figure out a way the dragon could retrieve his last glass without touching the forbidden tankard and forfeiting. Sir Cleave, the party tank, had outwitted an ancient dragon and the party passed his lair without a fight. The dungeon still had plenty of tough fights. I vaguely recall some guardians nagas and at least one shedu.

I can't quite remember whether Sir Cleave shattered his vorpal blade before or after that incident, but I can honestly tell you it was not in retaliation. The dude rolled a crit with it against a clay golem, against whom only enchanted blunt weapons do damage. I felt that something had to give way under the force of such a mighty blow. You should have seen the look on his face. No doubt it somewhat resembled my visage after he outwitted my dragon.