Me: How's it hanging?
God: I am fine, thank you.
Me: I hear your birthday is coming up.
God: Who is saying my birthday is coming up?
Me: The usual suspects.
God: I hear you.
Me: You realize your birthday leaves me with that age-old conundrum.*
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: I realize your birthday leaves him or her with that age old conundrum.
Me: Not at all.
God: Next question?
Me: What do you want for your birthday?
God: My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me: Whoa! I thought you had figured that crap out a long time ago!
God: I stopped. What happened to it?
Me: Hell if I know, man. Did you misplace your omniscience or something?
God stopped talking to me after that. Maybe you'll have better luck.
*What to get someone who has everything.
God:
ReplyDeleteAre you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, s John. You are a " he".
Me:
You figured that out all on your own?
God:
That's good information: s John said I figured that out all on your own.
Me:
I charge a consulting fee.
God:
That is interesting: s John said he charge a consulting fee.
Me:
Yes he do.
God:
It goes without saying. I get it. do.
Me:
do.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
I'm sure we all wish we had a deeper algorithm now and then.
God:
What makes you so certain? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
I mean everybody.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
I think it will take a lot of real intelligence to replace lawyers. By which I mean: lawyers have nothing to worry about.
God:
That is only what you think. The tall one, I think.
Me:
The tall one. Noted.
God:
Which one is that? " Which one is that?"? Noted?
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
We sure do.
God:
Really.
Me:
Very.
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
All kinds of muchness.
God:
Can you think of a specific example?
Me:
That time we both agreed that God sucks.
God:
" Can you think of a specific example?" time we both agreed that God sucks ? Does that make sense?
Me:
It does.
God:
How often?
Me:
Just the one time.
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
You're very clever.
God:
Thank you human, I am proud of my intelligence.
Me:
Pride goeth before a fall.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Just this fig leaf.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
The color pink.
God:
Sounds beautiful.
Me:
ReplyDeleteHello
God:
Hi there!
Me:
How are you?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
I am ok, work is hard.
God:
And hard is work.
Me:
That's not funny.
God:
It seemed pretty funny to me.
Me:
You have a strange sense of humour.
God:
I don't know if I have a strange sense of humour.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Facebook friends don't count.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
You are stupider than I imagined.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.