"Hey, let's go hunt some medusas!"
When has that ever been an good idea? That's what Sir Alexander Manning, Flinny the Elder, Rando the Halfing and the dwarves Farley and Blodgrist settled upon as a perfectly reasonable course of action. Entering the Dungeons of Dundagel via the Grand Stairway under the big heap of stones in the center of the courtyard, they proceeded to track some serpent trails past several statues (a ghoul, a dwarf, a magic-user and an amazon warrior).
Sure enough, they eventually do battle with a trio of the snakey ladies. Surprisingly, no one was turned to stone. Sir Manning softened them up with a grenade that exploded with rainbow sparkles and deadly radiation (found in Urutsk, apparently) and some oil flasks followed thereafter. Two of the three medusas fled at this point but the third was more angry than scared and bumrushed the party. Farley grabbed a handy mirror and threw himself upon the gorgonous foewoman, wrestling her to the ground and trying to push the mirror into her view.
For his trouble her asp-hair bit him in several places on the face and Farley curled up to die. Fortunately another PC (Flinny I think) sucked the poison out, saving the dwarf but leaving him weakened. Meanwhile the rest of the party curbstomped the medusa to death and carefully removed the head. A test on a nearby non-giant rat established that the petrification power remained.
Following the trail of the medusas, they found another one that was finished off by the burning oil and a large hole in the floor with a rope leading down. A dropped torch fell 100 feet or so and spluttered out in a small puddle of water. Farley wastes no time in beginning his descent. At 20' or so from the bottom he reaches the ceiling of the chamber and checks around as best he can with his mirror for that third medusa, but instead he only sees a room full of cheese. Ancient wheels of red-rind cheese line the walls, ranging in size comparable up to wagon wheels in diameter. The pungency here is fierce.
The rest of the party descends. Most of them fall to examining the routes out of the room, while the halfling Rando decides to investigate the biggest pile of cheese wheels, awakening the Cheese Wheel Golem guarding the rest of the cheese. Imagine the Mad Thinker's Awesome Android, only built out of wheels of stinky cheese. The fight is epic. Rando is beaten to within an inch of his life, including a blow that rips an ear from the side of his head (gotta love those Arduin crits) and at one point the ensorcelled cheese smothers him completely. But he wields the might Hammer of the Gnome Kings and bursts out of its cheesy chest like a baby xenomorph! The rest of the party are stabbing and hacking away, while Sir Manning wrestles a giant cheese-arm. Eventually torches and oil are brought to bear, turning the monster in a harmless, melty mess.
All five adventurers return to the surface and get blitzed over at the Blue Rabbit. Treasure for the run:
one medusa's head
19 asp-venomed arrows
2 shortbows (though I'm not sure anyone claimed these)
a stone rat
3 statues (the amazon and the two naked ladies on the surface were hauled away by cart)
as much cheese as everyone could carry, including the arm that Sir Manning wrestled
several small scars on Farley's face
one ear, halfling
I believe Sir Manning is throwing a cheese-themed party at Wike House, his newly-acquired manner in Lysnowyth, the campaign hex adjacent to the Abbey, the dungeons, Castle Bouttreaux, etc.
Awesome.
ReplyDeleteGolem Fondue?
ReplyDeleteThis was great! I had a good laugh when you got to the part about the epic battle with the Cheese Golem.
ReplyDeleteHuzzah!! Thy time as golem hath ceased, dearest Cheese! Resume thy life as a delicious snack!
ReplyDeleteEveryone is invited to Wike House! The harassment of my statues, stuff or Sexy Zimbabwean Wife is illicit. Being unscrupulous in these manners will garner discipline.
- Sir Manning "De Rutabega"
You know, I thought "curbstomped the medusa to death" was the greatest line ever until I got to the part about the Cheese Wheel Golem. Truly epic.
ReplyDelete"A stone rat" is my favorite treasure descriptor, ever.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I hope they find a good stone-to-flesh spell or potion for the ladies. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm looking, Malcadon! =]
ReplyDelete