Hi! My name is Abe! What's your name? Do you want to sniff my butt? I already smelled yours. You should do something about that.
Anyway, I just got back from the stinky hole that smells like rat poop and lizard breath. It was so much fun! I went with my master Blixa and some other people, one of which was very small and had furry feet that smelled like mushrooms.
We fought a big lizard! Was that the dragon everyone is so worked up about? I got to bite it but it wasn't very tasty. Do you have any food? I like cheese and sausages best. We found some cheese in a goblin house and my master gave me a piece of it. It was yummy! But then a storm blew in. The thunder scared me. But before that we found a magic chair. I sat in it and the magic made all the people smarter so they could understand me.
Then I found a rat hole but the rat was too deep in it for me to bite. You know what's even better than biting rats? Chasing them!
This is made of Win. Pure Win.
ReplyDeleteWhy oh why do I have to have a job, a baby and significant time-zone difference.
Best. Session. Report. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI agree with James. You need to clone yourself and send them out into the world.
ReplyDeleteDog stream of consciousness is the best stream of consciousness.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine in the SCA had a wolfhound he'd bring to events. Best, friendliest, sweetest piece of set-dressing I ever met. It's an odd sensation having a dog beg for scraps by looking OVER your shoulder while you're sitting down.
ReplyDeletewWHOA--I knew he could talk but you didn't say he was smart enough to write!
ReplyDeleteThat makes Abelincolnvampirehunter him smarter than KK's barbarian.
We've had the Henchman's viewpoint in Nodwick, etc. - this is the next step in that chain and I approve.
ReplyDelete...and, rereading my last comment, smarter than me.
ReplyDelete