Tuesday, July 31, 2007

this ad is awesome

I swiped some stills of an animated ad that ran on Penny Arcade last weekend.

1) We pan across a majestic, sweeping vista of snow-laden mountains and fragrant evergreens.

[insert Python lumberjack reference here]

2) The obligatory Hawtsome Fantasy Female appears, with attendant cleavage and come-hither glance.

Come on, people. An arrow-shaped pendant pointing down to her boobs? That's just guilding the lily.

3. OMG! Bear attack!

I'm telling you, every single game ever made can be improved by adding bear attacks.

Apart from some additional text, that's the whole ad. The bear attack is never explained. The bear just pops up behind the chick. And then the ad cycles back to the beginning. She's trapped in a loop, forever menaced by Inexplicable Bear.
at

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:16 PM

    That's a lot of cleavage. Threatdown! Bears

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8:11 PM

    If it made you wait 10 minutes for each frame, then I think it would capture the MMO experience. Random, drawn out, and boring as hell.

    - Mearls

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown11:27 PM

    As someone who plays Guild Wars and understands the context, I thought I'd provide some: the girl is Jora (http://gw.gamewikis.org/wiki/Jora), a warrior hero that you can add to your party, and who serves as a sort of beefed-up, customizable AI player. She's a Norn, and as such ca, apparently, *turn into* a bear during combat. This is apparent in other concept art from the game, but not from this, rather poorly made, ad.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2:03 AM

    It's just like that Saturday Night Live sketch (a Mike Meyers, IIRC) with the Japanese family and the hamburgers and the inexplicable gratuitous bear attacks.

    Well, okay, the only thing they really have in common is inexplicable gratuitous bear attacks. But that's enough in my book. My book is pretty damned lax.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Infamous Jum7:14 AM

    So she can turn into a bear, eh? Well, I guess that explains the almost bear chest. Thanks, I'm here all night. Try the meatloaf.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dr Rotwang7:32 AM

    It's just like that Saturday Night Live sketch (a Mike Meyers, IIRC) with the Japanese family and the hamburgers and the inexplicable gratuitous bear attacks.

    "Then you must fight the bear!"

    I still quote that. Also: "Who can figure out such devices?"

    ReplyDelete